Dear Margar-etiquette,

I find myself being really annoyed with people’s phones ringing, blasting music, or making alarming sounds during meetings and speaking events. Do we still need to remind people to silence their phones?

Silence is Golden

Dear Silence,

Yes, we absolutely do.

You’d think by now it would be second nature—but somehow, it’s not. And I agree with you: what really makes me shake my head is when the second phone goes off. If you heard the first one, wouldn’t that be your cue to double-check your own? With all the options—silent, vibrate, do not disturb, airplane mode, even off—there’s really no excuse.

That said, it never hurts to be proactive. Whether you’re speaking or attending, here are a few ways to keep the peace and preserve everyone’s sanity.

If you’re the speaker:

• Start with a gentle reminder. A warm, light comment at the beginning—”Let’s all take a moment to silence our phones”—is simple and effective.
• Use humor if it fits. A little line like, “Unless it’s your mama and she’s got cobbler in the oven, let’s go ahead and silence those phones,” keeps it sweet and light.
• Pause when it happens. If a phone does ring, stop speaking and wait. Silence will often be louder than the ringtone and sends a clear (but kind) message.

If you’re in the audience:

• Check before you enter. Make it a habit. Walking into a meeting or talk? Do a quick phone check like you’re patting your pockets for keys.
• Set it and forget it. Use features like “Do Not Disturb” or “Focus Mode” for recurring events. Let your phone work for you.
• Be considerate with vibration, too. A buzzing phone on a hard surface might be just as distracting as a ringtone.
• Don’t take calls. If you must step out, do it discreetly and quietly—no announcing, no speakerphone.

In short: technology isn’t the problem—our manners are. A little awareness goes a long way in keeping shared spaces pleasant and professional.

Warmly,
Margar-etiquetteP.S. Your ringtone might be your jam—but save it for the car, not the conference room.