.It was an occasion of sorrow and empathy as nearly 80 people gathered in front of the historic Coweta County Courthouse in Newnan Oct. 21 for the Coweta County Domestic Violence Day of Unity and Night of Remembrance to acknowledge those who have suffered and died from domestic violence.
Hosted by the Coweta County Domestic Violence Task Force, the stories of two childhood survivors were filled with their experiences of pain at the hands of an abuser. As is so often the case, that pain was followed by silence, anger, fear and anxiety.
Coweta County resident Sarah (last name withheld) began her remarks saying that as a child, and due to the violence in her home, she ran from guns, hid in the bushes, slept in the bushes and learned to drive at an early age so she could pick up her mother along the roadway.
“Dad was a person you couldn’t reason with,” Sarah said. “I always did what I had to do to keep him calm. Abusive relationships hurt a child more than you can imagine.”
Sarah recalled an occasion where her mother had stopped by a store after the family attended a funeral. The store clerk mentioned how good the children sang.
“Mom said we were planning to visit relatives in Philadelphia and might not come back,” Sarah explained. “The clerk told my dad about us going and maybe not coming back. Dad wouldn’t go to bed that night. He went outside and brought bullets into the house. Then he took the bullets out to the car. Dad finally went to bed so I did the same.”
Sarah said her mother woke her during the night, saying that her father was attempting to suffocate her. The violence soon escalated into murder in the family’s living room with all the children present.
“My 7-year-old brother and my 9-year-old brother were between my mom and dad. Mom pushed them away,” Sarah said. “He shot her four times. Her last words were ‘tell Sarah to care of y’all and y’all be good children.’ Dad had beaten her bad several times before. He killed her that night in front of the six kids. Mom was 39 years old when he killed her.”
Sarah said her father served three years in prison and re-married, “but (the new wife) got away with her two kids.”
Sarah spoke of the fear that can persist in the life of a child, both in witnessing or experiencing systematic abuse and by the horrific events that all too often lead to death.
“That kind of fear on a child is unexplainable,” she saId.
Also speaking at the event was Fayette County resident Jack Perry, Jr., a childhood survivor of domestic violence.
“Violence in the home can teach girls it’s alright to be a victim,” Perry said. “For her, (domestic violence) can become the norm.”
Continuously throughout his remarks, Perry reiterated his vision that men stand up and take a stand against domestic violence.
Task force members near the end of the ceremony read the names of the 72 Georgia residents who died so far this year due to domestic violence. They ranged in age from unborn to age 86. Most of the people killed were women and in many cases the dispute ended in a homicide-suicide.
In what can only be described as a sobering time of reflection, a bell was rung as each name was called out while those in attendance held lit candles in remembrance of the victims.
Just a few feet away near the sidewalk in front of the old courthouse, little purple flags had been planted in the grass. Each flag held the name of someone who had died in an incident involving domestic violence. Each flag was a silent reminder of this type of violence which is so often hidden from view, many times until it is too late.
During 2013 more than 1,285 domestic violence calls were placed to 911 in Coweta County and 120 people statewide lost their lives during domestic violence disputes.
