Ask Margar-etiquette about Post Holiday Gift Etiquette

Dear Margar-etiquette,

The holidays are over, the decorations are coming down, and now I’m left with gifts I truly appreciate—and a few I’m not quite sure what to do with. What’s the proper etiquette for expressing thanks, returning items, or even passing something along to someone else?

Signed, Sorting It All Out

Dear Sorting It All Out,

The post-holiday season is when etiquette quietly goes to work. The parties are over, but the relationships remain, and how we handle gifts afterward says just as much as how we received them.

Let’s unwrap the answers.

First and Always: Say Thank You

Every gift deserves acknowledgment, regardless of whether it’s a perfect fit. A thank-you note, text, or call should focus on the thought, not the item.

Example: “Thank you so much for thinking of me. It meant a lot to be remembered.”

No commentary on size, color, usefulness, or return plans is needed. Gratitude stands on its own.

Returning a Gift: Quiet and Discreet

If a gift truly doesn’t work—wrong size, duplicate, or simply not usable—returning it is acceptable as long as it’s handled privately. Never announce your intentions, joke about it, or ask the giver for permission. If they included a gift receipt, they’ve already given you grace to do what you need to do. And a small but important rule: You don’t owe the giver an update on what you exchanged it for, or that you even exchanged it.

Regifting: Proceed With Care

Regifting can be thoughtful or disastrous. It all depends on execution.

Acceptable regifting follows three rules:

1. The item is new or unused
2. The recipient would genuinely enjoy it
3. There is no chance the gift will circle back to the original giver

If any of those boxes can’t be checked, don’t do it. Thoughtfulness should never feel like recycling.

When You Receive “Too Much”

Some gifts are generous to the point of overwhelming. If someone consistently overgifts, your response should still be gracious, but you may gently set expectations later: “Your generosity is so kind. Please know your presence truly is enough.” Save that conversation for another time, never in the moment.

Donating Gifts: A Quiet Kindness

Donating unused items is often the most respectful option—especially when the gift is nice but simply not right for you. There’s no need to publicize where it went. Let it be a private extension of the original generosity.

The Big Picture

Post-holiday gift etiquette is less about objects and more about relationships. Gratitude should be expressed freely. Changes should be made quietly. And generosity, whether given, received, or passed along, should always be handled with care.

When in doubt, choose kindness, discretion, and a good thank-you note. Those never go out of style.

With appreciation and good sense,

Margar-etiquette