My first pastorate was in an Indianapolis, Indiana, suburb. We enjoyed a beautiful city, wonderful people, and a good ministry. We made many friends there. I even tolerated the winter, sort of. There was one major drawback: it wasn’t the South.
After cold weather and numerous snowfalls, April would roll around, the Master’s would be on television, the azaleas would be blooming at the Augusta National, and we’d sometimes have a snowfall in Indianapolis. I’d be missing the Southern spring.
Eventually, God moved us back south. I love this definition of the South found on a wall hanging at a local business:
“The place where … tea is sweet and accents are sweeter. Summer starts in April. Macaroni and Cheese is a vegetable. Front porches are wide and words are long. Pecan pie is a staple. Y’all is the only proper noun. Chicken is fried and biscuits come with gravy. Everything is Darlin’. Someone’s heart is always being blessed.”
Speaking of sweet tea, I worked for the Southern Baptist Home Mission Board in Atlanta before I went to seminary. I took a trip with three staff members to the Bronx. We went out to eat late at night after flying in, and I asked for tea. They brought hot tea. This was January in New York, but I sent it back and asked for sweet iced tea. The waitress gave me a funny look. I finally got iced tea, but it wasn’t sweet. I gave up and drank it anyway. Bless their hearts …
Along with sweet tea, Southern accents, Southern cooking, fresh vegetables, watermelon and dinner on the grounds, I enjoy our colorful expressions. Technically, I guess they are colloquialisms, a local or regional dialect expression.
For example, I don’t know from where I picked this greeting up, but I’ll greet one of our young people and ask, “Whatchaknowgood?”
Usually he or she will reply, “What did you say?”
“Whatcha’ know good?” In other words, “How are you doing?” Doesn’t “Whatcha’ know good?” sound like “How are you doing?” Does to me.
They might say, “Not much!” or they could answer, “Don’t know diddly!” meaning “I don’t know anything good at the moment!”
Some people greet with, “How’s your momman’em?” This assumes they go way back with my mom and family and want an update.
If they share some stunning news, the comeback might be, “You don’t say?” or, “Well I’ll be.” I remember hearing a relative say, “Well, hush yo’ mouth” many times.
We might inquire of someone using poor judgement, “What in tarnation are you thinking?”
An angry person may be madder than a wet hen. Or, if she loses it, she might be having a hissy fit. Or, even worse, she may have a hissy fit with a tail in it.
Someone who really irritates us not only gets our goat, but also might “get my goose.” Or, she could make a preacher cuss. You might want to shake this person ‘til their teeth rattle.
A person who grew up in your area might be from your neck of the woods. Or they might live down the road just a short piece. If they are geographically challenged, they might not can find their way out of a wet paper bag. That description might also apply to someone whose elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top.
A really busy person might be running around like a chicken with his head cut off. Someone moving too slowly might be described as slower than molasses, or slower than pond water running up a hill backwards.
A really stubborn person might “argue with a stop sign and it knocked down.”
Someone might be described as crazy as a bat, meaner than a snake, poorer than a church mouse, cuter than a bug on a rug, or happy as a pig in slop. He might be crooked as a dog’s hind leg or lower than a snake’s belly.
Regarding conversation, he might be talking up a blue streak, and you can’t get a word in edge-wise. Or he might be just blowing smoke.
We really love our expressions, or colloquialisms, the sound of being Southern. Sounds like home to me.
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[David L. Chancey is pastor of McDonough Road Baptist Church, 352 McDonough Road, Fayetteville, Georgia. Join them this Sunday for Bible study at 9:45 a.m. and worship at 10:55 a.m. Like them on Facebook and visit them on the web at www.mcdonoughroad.org.]
