This one may just get me banned from the men’s club for life, but it’s hard to argue with The Wife — especially when she’s right. Yesterday, she was talking about how men can only think of one thing at a time. We have a one-track mind. And it seems we men folk are easily distracted. Now, I know this is what we were discussing because, according to her, she had repeated herself three times just to get my attention.
To be honest, I don’t really remember how many times she had to repeat herself. During our conversation, a giant lunar moth had landed on the kitchen window screen. In my defense, it’s rare for one to see an orange and green lunar moth during the daylight. So I was a little distracted.
She also said that men are inclined to forget things – especially dates. Quickly, I defended my gender and reminded her that for 12 years I’ve never forgotten our anniversary. That’s when she reminded me we had only been married for 11, and it was her idea to have the date engraved into our wedding rings. Like I said, it’s hard to argue with her when she’s right.
Not wanting to lose yet another argument, I also reminded her about how organized I was when we moved into our new home. With my system, we knew where everything in the kitchen was located. At a glance, I could tell her what was behind all the cabinet doors and in each drawer. Never mind that I was helplessly lost when she took down all of the Post-It notes; that’s beside the point. While they were up, I never forgot where anything was.
She countered with the fact that I can’t even find things in the refrigerator — a big rectangular box that has but one way in, one way out, and a huge door. Again in my defense, I said that finding anything in the refrigerator is easy — just as long as I don’t have to look behind stuff. Having to look behind stuff is simply asking too much of us men folks. That’s like actually expecting us to hit the laundry basket, turn socks right-side-out, and not be irritating when you’re tired or don’t feel good. Don’t you think that’s asking a little much? After all, we’re men. It’s in our DNA. But I digress – and no, I didn’t get distracted – I simply digressed.
This morning before we went to work, I asked The Wife to sit down at the kitchen table. We needed to have a little talk. I don’t know the difference between a little talk and a big talk, but little sounds better. It had taken all night, but I finally had come up with a sound argument that proves once and for all that men don’t have a one-track mind and aren’t easily distracted.
And that’s the moment when the giant orange and green lunar moth landed back on the window screen. Only this time he brought a big yellow friend.
After finishing her coffee, The Wife got up, kissed me on the cheek, and gave me a hug. “When you remember what you were going to say, call me. It’s time to go to work.”
You know, for the life of me I still don’t remember the brilliant argument I’d come up with last night. It wasn’t a bad day though; at least I remembered our lunch date. Lucky for me there was a Post-It note stuck on my steering wheel.
Strange — I don’t remember putting it there.
[Rick Ryckeley, who lives in Senoia, has been a firefighter for more than two decades and a columnist for The Citizen since 2001. His email is firstname.lastname@example.org.]