Let Them Have The Win

“Let other people have the win.”

I keep coming back to that thought because, if I’m honest, it touches more parts of my life right now than I expected.

On Monday afternoon, one of our clients’ websites went down after someone gained access with a stolen administrator password and eventually deleted everything. It was serious, and the client understandably wanted answers.

A few years ago, I would have been right in the middle of every part of that response.

This time, our technical partner traced what happened, secured the site, and documented the timeline. Our client services lead took that information, turned it into a clear explanation for the client, checked it back against the technical details, made one correction, and sent it.

My contribution to the whole process was basically two words: “Looks great.”

And well, that felt like a win.

I’m still learning that growth is not always about being more involved, even after 25 years of building JHD. The business can move forward without me touching every single thing, and other people need the opportunity to solve the problem.

The next morning, I went to yoga. I had blocked the time off because I’ve been trying to get back to the gym, and I really wanted to keep the appointment.

That sounds small, but for me it isn’t. There was always a reason not to go before. A client needed something. A project needed attention. Somebody had a question. Even when no one actually needed me, I was pretty good at convincing myself that they might.

Now, more of JHD is being managed by people who are fully capable of managing it, and that creates space for me to step away without feeling like everything is going to stop.

Later in the day, during a conversation at The Nexus, I admitted that a few things had gotten under my skin recently. A competitor won an account I wanted. Someone else was booked to speak at an organization where I sit on the board, and I had no say in the booking.

It’s kind of like watching someone else pull into the parking space you had already decided was yours. Technically, nothing was taken from you. There are other spaces. You’ll still get where you’re going. But for a second, you feel the loss of something you never actually had.

What surprised me was that I wasn’t even sure those things bothered me until I said them out loud. Then, a couple of days later, I stood in front of a group of high school students and told them not to spend their lives building a highlight reel.

Build a room instead, I told them. Create something people want to be part of.

It took someone else pointing it out for me to see the contradiction. Thursday, I was admitting that other people’s highlight reels sometimes get to me. Saturday, I was telling teenagers not to chase them. The more I thought about it, the more I realized those two things actually fit together.

Maybe the account isn’t really the thing. Maybe the speaking slot isn’t either. Maybe the bigger lesson is learning that someone else getting an opportunity doesn’t mean there is less opportunity left for me.

There is more than one room worth being in, and more than one room worth building.

I can 100% let someone else have the win. In fact, I can celebrate it, learn from it, and let it remind me to keep creating opportunities of my own. Their win does not automatically become a loss. Maybe it’s just a win, period.

I still want JHD to grow. I still want good work, meaningful opportunities, and rooms worth being part of. None of that ambition has disappeared. I’m just learning that ambition doesn’t have to turn everything into a competition.

And not every good thing needs my fingerprints on it.

Sometimes leadership means stepping forward, and sometimes it means creating enough space for someone else to step into theirs.

That’s the part I’m trying to get better at.

Let them have the win.