Ask Margar-Etiquette about Being Stuck in the Middle

Dear Margar-etiquette,

I recently went to a movie and had to get up in the middle to use the restroom. As I tried to get past the people in my row, it felt awkward no matter what I did. Should I face them or turn my back? Should I say something or just hurry through? I’ve also noticed people squeezing by with their backsides practically in someone’s lap, which seems uncomfortable for everyone involved.

Is there a polite way to get in and out of your seat during a performance without making it more disruptive than it already is?

Caught in the Middle of the Row

Dear Caught,

You’re right to notice the awkwardness. Moving through a row during a performance is one of those small social moments where courtesy matters a great deal because the space is tight, the room is quiet, and everyone’s attention is focused forward.

If you must leave your seat, the polite approach is to face the people you are passing rather than turning your back toward them. This prevents the unfortunate and uncomfortable situation of your backside being the closest point of contact. Facing the row allows you to move carefully and acknowledge the people you are inconveniencing.

A brief, quiet phrase such as “Excuse me” or “Pardon me” is appropriate as you pass. Most people understand that sometimes stepping out is unavoidable, and a simple acknowledgment goes a long way in keeping the interaction gracious.

Move slowly and deliberately, keeping your body close to your seat row so others have space to shift their knees or stand if needed. Avoid holding phones with bright screens or carrying large items that bump into people as you pass.

Timing matters as well. If possible, wait for a natural pause in the action—during a scene change, applause, or a darker moment on screen—so the movement draws less attention.

Returning to your seat follows the same principle: face the row, offer a quiet “excuse me,” and move with care.

Etiquette in shared venues like theaters is really about minimizing disruption. No one enjoys climbing over knees in a darkened room, but when we move thoughtfully and acknowledge the people around us, even an awkward moment can remain a courteous one.

Enjoy the show,

Margar-etiquette