Friends Mentoring

Sometimes I cheat to lose at cards. Uno, War, Crazy Eights. Sometimes Michael (*names changed) just has to win. Most of the time I play it straight up, although my strategy is poor. Unless, of course, we are playing Connect 4. I’m not losing a Connect 4 game. Even for Michael.

I have been a mentor in our Friends Mentoring Program for over a decade. When you hear “mentor” you might think of needing to provide sage advice or worry about formal meetings. But that’s not what the Friends Mentoring program is about. For example – I played with Legos today. One time I spent an entire year coloring.

The Fayette County Friends Mentoring Program is about connecting students with positive adult role models (and yes, that does include me.) Every week I spend about thirty minutes with each of my students.

I’m an adult, who shows up consistently, and pays attention. And I don’t have other expectations or need them to do something. I’m not there to hassle them about their homework, or correct their behavior, or ask if they brushed their teeth.

Students are already in classrooms all day, soaking up information. The last thing they need is another authority figure lecturing them. Friends mentoring is about the relationship you build with your student. It’s about me listening to their experiences, and only sharing mine if it might help. I’m there so they feel heard and respected, not just talked at. I like to think of it as letting them chat with an older, slightly wiser friend.

We sometimes talk about school stuff. But their life is more than just textbooks and exams. It’s about figuring out friendships, navigating family stuff, and stressing about the future. So we talk about it all.

I have a different background and have lived a very different life than my mentees. So they get to hear about my journey, struggles, successes (and fails!) They get to see that there’s no single “right” way to do things. Just by being a consistent, caring adult in their lives, I get to demonstrate a way of navigating the world and offer advice on their choices in navigating theirs.

We know that students with mentors are proven to have increased confidence and self-esteem, do better in school, show Improved social skills and relationships and engage in fewer risky behaviors. The system has needs for mentors at all levels. You probably won’t play as much Uno as I do if your mentee is in High School, but the principles remain the same. Show up consistently and build a relationship. Remember that not every story is a success story – sometimes you won’t even be able to tell if you’ve made a difference.

But you will have fun.

If you don’t do your homework and send me ideas or questions, I’m going to keep writing about what I want to write about. So basically the topics are your fault. What are your questions or thoughts about schools? Send them to me at [email protected].

If you want to get involved as a mentor, call Margarette Coleman, our Fayette County Schools Mentor Program Specialist at 770-460-3990 ext. 1432  or email [email protected]. It’s an easy way to be involved and make a difference.