I did not want to have to write this, but I’m afraid many of our fellow graduates do not comprehend how entrenched systemic racism is in both our school and country. I only have to ask one simple question to illustrate my point.
Have all ethnic, racial, and gendered groups been equally represented on our school’s football and basketball teams?
This is in spite of the fact that many of these groups represent an increasing percentage of our nation’s universities. What most people do not recognize is that the rules for these two sports were written over a century ago with the intent of favoring entire groups of people.
Yes, you may have already guessed it. They were written by oppressors with the goal of oppressing victims because that is what oppressors do. It does not matter that many of these victims excel in many other sports and excel in various academic pursuits. Never mind that they may never have even wanted to play football or basketball in high school. It does not matter that both these sports are very exciting, lucrative, and enjoyed by millions.
What matters is that many are excluded now, and this is not inclusive. In the interest of Diversity, Inclusion, and Equity (DIE), something has to be done. If you don’t understand this, then you are a racist.
I have it on good authority that next year’s recruiting practices are about to change. Our school will no longer overvalue rigid criteria like 40-yard dash times, strength measurements, points scored in previous school competitions, tackles, rebounds, or individual awards.
Instead, our school will use a much more equitable and fluid group of criteria to achieve greater equity. In fact, an equity score will be assigned to each recruit in order to achieve the correct group ratios.
In situations like this, as well as things like reparations, the tough part is determining what percentage of a certain type or lineage is pure enough. Is it 11%, 51%, or 98.5%? I assure you they will find the correct solution because the people working on this are the absolute smartest in all of academia, and they are much smarter than the rest of us.
I was told the next part is extremely important. It is critical that we tell the current players on these sports teams that they are racist for even participating in these oppressively designed sports. The reason this is so essential is because we can then achieve guilt by association, remove their freedom of speech, all while avoiding due process.
Due process gives you the right to be informed of the charges against you, the right to a speedy trial by judge or jury, the right to face your accuser and cross-examine witnesses, the right to an attorney, and the right to be presumed innocent until proven guilty.
This due process stuff is all very messy and makes it difficult for mob rule (cancel culture), government overreach, and rule by wealthy or academic elites who are much smarter than us. All existing players are scheduled for 500 hours of DIE training until morale improves.
If we concentrate on telling them how racist they are, we will achieve greater team unity, and they will receive next year’s recruits on their teams with open arms.
Appropriate group ratios (gender, transgender, ethnic identity, etc.) are planned, not only for the teams in general, but also for positions such as football linemen, basketball centers, and other exclusive positions. This is because diversity is our strength and comes in the nick of time based on what has just happened to our football team.
This formula practically guarantees victory in our battles on the court and on the field. Remember, by focusing on our differences, we will build greater unity both on our teams, in our school, and in our country. E Pluribus Unum is simply not consistent with our goals of diversity, inclusion, and equity (DIE).
My sources told me they believe the problems are so systemic in these two sports that the rules will eventually have to be rewritten. They envision elite judges watching from the sidelines giving scores based on how much form was exhibited during the touchdown, three-pointer, rebound, pancake block, or tackle. This way, more equitable outcomes are almost guaranteed, and all the players will score the same amount of points.
This enables us to bypass the whole equality of opportunity thing and go straight for equity and an equal outcome for each and every player. They also believe they will save a great deal of money not having to build such large stadiums or arenas, for some reason. What we can achieve through our DIE initiatives is almost beyond measure.
Back to reality — we all want to achieve a colorblind meritocracy. Hundreds of years of history demonstrate that the free enterprise system and a free democracy, guided by our Constitution and Bill of Rights, is the way to do it. There is a very good reason Lady Justice is blindfolded so as not to give preferential treatment to various groups of people. There is only one race, the human race, and we all just have varying levels of melanin in our skin.
If anyone ever says western civilization is an oppressive system designed to oppress various groups of people, make sure you ask them if any other civilizations or cultures in human history were oppressive. The answer, of course, is that they all were and the least oppressive were the democracies born out of western civilization.
Interestingly, the most oppressive systems in human history were the Marxist regimes of the 20th century, which killed 80 million people, and most of them were their own citizens. We should never forget how much oppression, destruction, and murder were committed in the pursuit of utopia.
1979 graduate of the U.S. Air Force Academy