Hawaii launches fake missile attack


The likely scenario: An “Incoming missiles” warning text is sent to millions of iPhones. Kim Jung Un is in his bunker quaking in his boots for 37 minutes trying to get China’s President Xi Jinping on the phone to say, “I didn’t do it.”

Kim is fearful of a counterattack “mistake” from a “mentally deranged” President Trump pushing his “bigger button that works,” sending Kim a Made in USA message.

Residents and tourists panic. Parents put their kids into street manholes for safety. Tourists told to seek cover. Everyone on their own. Pandemonium reigns. People phoning “goodbye” to friends, family and relatives.

No emergency plan in place.

No one from the Hawaii state government sends out a “false alarm” correction for 37 minutes. No answers a day later, just apologies and excuses. Hawaii Governor David Ige says, “Someone must have pushed the wrong button on a shift change.” “In the future we need to have two people make the decision to press the alarm button.”

No government workers are reprimanded or fired.

NORAD affirms the incoming missile false alarm. President Trump continues to play golf.

No tweets, as the Hawaii SNAFU is a self-explanatory, self-fulfilling prophecy of complacency. Hawaii’s federal judges continue to impede President Trump’s national security agenda.

Dems say it’s Trump’s fault.

Trump’s a racist!

Michael Velsmid
Peachtree City, Ga.