Smudge-proof Black Friday


After 10 years in our dream home, The Wife and I find that we must now suddenly move out. It wasn’t our idea; we were happy. Packing and moving everything over the holidays is less than perfect, but it’s all for a good cause. There’s a family who needs our home more than we do.

Even though it’s extremely disruptive, there are some advantages to moving. First, we don’t have to pack up everything. There are still those five big boxes we haven’t unpacked from when we moved in 10 years ago.

Second, we’re gonna get some really cool state-of-the-art smudge proof kitchen appliances for our trouble. Now all we have to do is build a kitchen so we can cook that traditional Christmas roast beef. I know that this story has just gotten started and it’s kinda confusing, but The Wife really likes roast beef for Christmas.

Currently all of our kitchen appliances are black. Colonel Baker was my 10th-grade chemistry teacher at Briarwood High School, home of the Mighty Buccaneers. He told us that the color white was all colors mixed together and that black was the absence of any color. So I ask you, how can smudges show up on something that doesn’t have any color?

I have no idea, but The Wife certainly does. Seems, for the last 10 years, she’s been fighting a war against them and losing.

Walking the aisles of the giant hardware store with the orange roof, we made our way past all the holiday decorations: blowup lawn displays, dancing Santas, and squirrels singing, “I ain’t getting nuttin’ for Christmas,” to the middle of the store and the appliances.

Upon discovering state-of-the-art smudge-proof kitchen appliances are twice as expensive as plain black ones, I told The Wife I found an answer to our smudge problem on aisle three. That’s where all the paper towels and spray cleaners were.

The Wife was not amused and our new smudge proof appliances get delivered next week as soon as we move out and then back into our house. Still confused? The answer is just below.

You see we’re not relocating to another town or even out of state. We’re only moving about 12 feet down. Yes, for the next year The Wife and I will be living in our basement.

Think we’re crazy to do such a thing? Tis the holidays and there’s a family in need, so the move isn’t as strange as it may seem.

To save money for a new house, The Boy and his family will be moving in, and we couldn’t be happier. They are bringing those two little sugar makers with them and the pitter-patter of little feet will be heard just above our heads.

A week after agreeing to the odd living arrangement, The Wife and I visited our local corner coffee shop for dinner and met some friends. When telling them our story, they started to laugh. Seems they had let their daughter, son-in-law, and kids move back in for the very same reason.

Guess we’re not so crazy after all. Well, at least The Wife isn’t. I think the jury is still out on me.

Still, there are some huge benefits we’re looking forward to after the big move. Now babysitting our two little granddaughters, and all those hugs and kisses, will only be steps away.

Walking upstairs isn’t much of a commute. Just think of all the money we’ll save on gas. Perhaps even enough to pay for all those smudge proof appliances.

[Rick Ryckeley has been writing stories since 2001. To read more of Rick’s stories, visit his blog:]