Holiday cleaning

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The battle for our house was between a vanilla candle and an old rug. For the moment, the rug was winning.

With the start of the holiday season upon us, there were a bunch of chores that just have to be completed before family can visit. Think the holiday season starts with Thanksgiving? Not around our house. The first really big holiday of the winter is Halloween.

Warning to all who shall visit our happy corner of the world during the upcoming holidays: If you are coming to see The Wife and me, you are welcome to drop by anytime. But if you’re coming to see our house, please give a week’s notice so we can clean both inside and out. Since you never know with family, let the cleaning begin.

Come to find out there’s actually an order to cleaning, and the first thing to do is dusting. Yes, even though you’ve dusted last year, you must dust again. Who knew? It was news to me too. That’s what The Wife informed me when I volunteered to clean the house.

Dusting means dusting everything: ceiling fans, windowsills, any surface, and even underneath everything. How dust could possibly get under something I will never know. Dust doesn’t crawl or jump like those fuzzy bathroom black and purple things with pink eyes. But The Wife say dust, so dust I must.

Lamp shades must be dusted along with baseboards, air-conditioning vents, and even on top of the refrigerator. When I asked why and mentioned she couldn’t even see the top of the refrigerator without standing on a chair, her answer was simple and impossible to argue with. “Because I know it’s there.” Funny, she was right. It was really dirty up there. Guess I really need to dust more than once a year.

Vacuuming was the next item on the housecleaning to do list. Even though I’ve been vacuuming since I was growing up at 110 Flamingo Street, I’ve been doing it wrong. Seems you can’t just vacuum around things, you actually have to move all the furniture and vacuum under it. I was going to ask The Wife why but decided not to do so. After all, she was right about all that dust on top of the refrigerator.

Next up, cleaning that old rug so the vanilla candles will have a fighting chance. Yes, I had to light a second one. Seems Grumpy Grandpas’ Daycare needs some spring-cleaning in the month of October. All those spills from those no-spill sippy cups (I’m not talking about mine) have taken a real toll, and even I know carpet isn’t supposed to be sticky. They may be small, but Little One and her little sister Sweet Caroline are tough on floors.

Bathrooms were the last cleaning item on the inside of the house, and they took the longest. Seems I’ve been cleaning them wrong all my life also. Light fixtures and light bulbs have to be cleaned. I was going to ask why but just gave up and cleaned them.

Bathroom cleaning took almost two hours. Those fuzzy black and purple things with pink eyes put up a big fight. Some survived my best cleaning efforts and ran outside. Maybe I could get them to cut the yard instead of my having to.

Black and purple things with pink eyes are more unruly outside than in. They would be absolutely no help with the three hours of yard work ahead of me. It was so much work I decided to make a phone call. I asked The Boy to come over for a nice visit with his dear old dad.

I know what some of you may be thinking, but don’t worry. None of the black and purple things were harmed while he cut the grass, cleaned out gutters and raked all the leaves. Not sure, but I think it’ll be awhile before The Boy wants to come back over. Maybe before then, I can train those black and purple things to do yard work.