Dear Wayne,

Congratulations on your election as a deacon in your Baptist church. You asked if I had any wisdom to share as you begin this new stage in your life and, with over 30 years of ministry, most of that time working with church boards and deacons, I find that I have a few words of what I hope to be good advice.

- Stand by, stand with, and support your pastor. When I first entered the ministry as a youth pastor, an elderly gentleman advised me to do the same. He said that the pastor will not always be right but that he will be 90-95 percent of the time. He said that if I always supported him (assuming the decisions are not immoral, unbiblical, illegal, or unethical), I would also be on the right side 90-95 percent of the time. I have found that to be the truth. Most pastors are selfless and are servants. Be a man your pastor can trust.

- Don't ambush the pastor. If you have a disagreement with the pastor, NEVER tell him in front of anybody else. Go to him and, in private, share your concerns. If he asks your opinion in a board meeting, that's another matter. Always be respectful of him as a person and mindful of the high calling upon his life. Don't allow people to gossip about him to you.

- Be especially courteous to his wife and children. Pastors' wives and children are the most abused and talked about people you can imagine. A person who would never gossip about the pastor often has no scruples when it comes to backstabbing his wife. People will talk about their clothes, their habits, their choice of movies, their accent, what kind of car they drive, and anything else they can think to mention. Stay away from this despicable crowd.

- Remember why you were elected. You were elected to serve - to serve God, to serve the pastor (particularly as a trusted advisor), and to serve the people of the church. You were not elected to "represent" the congregation or any group within the congregation. You are not a politician and must not allow yourself to be influenced or be used by factions within the congregation.

- Lose your own opinion and surrender your own willfulness. With the other deacons and the pastor, you are to collectively seek God's will for your church. The only way to know God's will is to hear from him and the only way to do that is to pray. Opinions and self-will will keep us from hearing from God every time. "My opinion is ... " or "I think ... " should be lost from your vocabulary. "What I sense as I pray is this ... " is much more appropriate and scriptural.

- Walk in humility - always. I have met people who, when elected to the church board, began to act as if they were God's special anointed gift to the church. Remember that "God chooses the foolish of this world to confound the wise." You probably think that there are others more qualified than you and that you are not worthy of this trust. Good! Keep that mindset and you will do well. Lose it, and you will walk in arrogance and lose God's blessing. Remember the rules: (1) There is a God, and (2) It is not you. It's a great honor you were chosen for it reflects the respect the people have toward you, but always hold the office lightly; it's on loan from God!

- Be faithful in things both large and small. Be in church when you are not working or out of town. Ask what you can do to help. Give both money and your time. Be an example to the people who are watching you - and, believe me, they ARE watching you. Treat everybody the same - whether poor or rich, white or black, men or women, elderly or small child - with dignity and respect.

There are many other aspects of this ministry I could share but some of them you know: to be a man of prayer, to be a student of the Word of God, to witness whenever possible, to be an honorable man both in and out of church - all of which I'm sure you are already doing. I am proud of you and am quite certain you will do a great job! I'm honored you asked me to share these thoughts with you. Dad and Mom would be proud of you!