So who got the shaft in the past, besides Richard Roundtree? How about Willem Dafoe as Max Shreck in "Shadow of the Vampire?" He lost to Benicio Del Toro for "Traffic," another film whose high praise I still don't quite get. It was OK.

How about Billy Bob Thornton in "A Simple Plan," another overlooked film? I thought he was absolutely terrific in a script with some meat to it. He lost to James Coburn for "Affliction," a film I haven't seen as yet, have you? I think it was another one of those "We should have given you an Oscar years ago, but we messed up" awards.

The biggest question of the year seems to be "Will Martin Scorsese get his gold statue this time, or what?" Personally I wouldn't want to be Clint Eastwood this year. I would feel really bad. Sure, "Million Dollar Baby" basically blows "Aviator" out of the water, but Scorsese is not gonna be around forever. We've already blown it with Hitchcock and Welles.

Consider this. Scorsese's 1990 film, "Goodfellas," probably the best film ever made about the mob lost to "Dances With Wolves." Kevin Coster, the great American "auteur" walked away with best picture and best director! I couldn't sit through fifteen minutes of that ego-trip. Personally I think Costner is almost as overrated as Ron Howard. Is that possible?

Some other films that didn't get nominated for best picture and deserved to are 1999's "Magnolia." Hello! Earth to people with some modicum of taste!

Another Scorsese classic, "Casino," is my personal favorite film of the great New York Director, and it's about Vegas! Sorry, too heavy. Next!

One of my fave Coen Brother films, "Barton Fink" sank like a heavy gold statue in a Hollywood swimming pool. It should have gotten something, best wallpaper?

"Forrest Gump?" How about giving it to "Pulp Fiction" or "Ed Wood" or "The Madness of King George" or even "The Lion King?" I actually saw and loved those films. They were nominated in 1994 along with Gump-head. Maybe it's just me, but Tom Hanks used to be a good actor. Now he's like the Bono of Hollywood. My theory is that all those millions of dollars go straight to their big fat heads!

OK, I have to stop now. I'm getting to worked up! I'm using way too many exclaimation points! I have to relax! It's only a stupid award show, right? It doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things, right? You can't get into Heaven just because you have an Oscar, right?

Of course not! It would fall right through one of those puffy white clouds and conk some idiot down on earth right on the head. Like Mel Gibson.

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