I guess we are supposed to cheer for her inventiveness, but she is too much of a little adult to warm up to.

Her brother, Klaus, is a little more emotional which isn’t saying much. He has read more books than God, books that neither you nor I could ever find the time or patience to leaf through.

Having retained every fact he has set his bespeckled eyes on, he is extremely handy at filling in Violet’s gaps in logic. Between the two of them, they have the perfect kiddy think tank going.

If I sound perturbed by these brats, I suppose I am. Even though I thoroughly enjoyed reading “The Bad Beginning,” the first Snicket installment, seeing these characters fleshed out without so much as a drop of childlike charm in them left me cold.

It’s the same problem I have with the Harry Potter movies. Just the sight of that glassy-eyed goofball makes me want to get on my broom and spell out “Surrender Hollywood” in the sky. If only I had an army of Winkies!

In contrast, consider the child actors from, “To Kill a Mockingbird.”

Yes, it’s an altogether different kind of film from another era, but they were likable and watchable because there was a genuine quality to their portrayals. They could really act. You cared about them.

In “Lemony Snicket,” I was rooting for Count Olaf from the beginning.

That’s really the only reason to see this flick. Carrey has some good bits, many of them too short for my taste, but then again, I’m a huge fan of his comedy.

He has a great ability to use the idiosyncrasies of body language and facial expression along with vocal inflections to make lines like “All I ask is that you do every little thing that pops into my head while I enjoy the enormous fortune that your parents left behind” say volumes.

Children will probably like this movie even if they aren’t Mensa material. It’s set in an imaginary world where adults are either: conniving villains, phobic eccentrics or complete idiots. Meryl Streep, of all people, has a small role in this thing, but I wouldn’t give her best supporting actress for it.

Even Dustin Hoffman turns up near the end to play a theatre critic. I think he has two lines, both of which are bad.

Billy Connolly plays the only likable adult in the movie, Uncle Monty. Connolly plays him as the perfect patriarch; ever patient, infinitely protective, wise, wonderful and generous.

When he gets bitten by one of his pet snakes, it’s a relief.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that if the children are bad; it’s because of the parents. And if the movie is bad, it’s because of the director. I would have demanded more acting from the kids and a heftier script. This movie is truly a bad beginning to what is sure to spawn a sequel or two. Unfortunately, we will have to just wait and see how much worse it can get.

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