So you see Bill, for the Christian, praying for and submitting to the authorities God has placed over us really isn't an option. Get over it and pray for President Bush. Besides, there is always 2008. Just kidding.

Dear Father Paul: I have one sister and two sisters-in-law who all live in this area, but somehow I am the one who always gets the "honor" of hosting the family's (large) Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners / get togethers.It is a huge amount of work and I am always worn out. Mom and dad (in their 70's) are no help. I feel like I am being used. Deb, Fayetteville.

Dear Deb: You don't say how long you have been serving as "hostess," but if you are beginning to feel used, change is in order. Hosting family affairs like this should be done out of love and the joy of seeing family members enjoy themselves...not from some misguided sense of obligation. It is likely that the other members of your family think that this arrangement is perfectly OK since you sound like a very gracious person. They probably don't have a clue that you are unhappy.

Thanksgiving 2004 has come and gone, but Christmas 2004 is upon us. At this year's family Christmas get together (which I trust you are going to host) I'd suggest that during the dinner (maybe near the end) when everyone is feeling really full of Christmas happiness, you stand and get everyone's attention. Tell them that while you have enjoyed doing the family holiday get togethers these past few years at your home, you feel it is time that as a family we "spread the joy" a little and allow others in the family the priviledge of hosting the event. Be gracious and don't complain about how much work you've done these past few years. Have a sheet with the next four holidays and dates printed with blanks. Go ahead and sign your name in the last blank. Send the sheet around and let everyone pick the holiday that works best for them. My guess is that the other members of your family will surprise you with their willingness to help.

Dear Father Paul: I shared an extremely personal (and private) matter with someone who (I thought) was a close friend. The next thing I knew, my "secret" is all over our circle of friends. Frankly, I am mad as ( )........

Dear Megan: First, forgive her...and really mean it. If you think this is tough, it is! Pray, and ask God to give you the strength. He will. Anger, bitterness and unforgiveness will only hurt you, not her.

Then, take her out to lunch (your treat), sitat a more "private" out-of-the-way table and (when the time is right during the meal) explain to her that you know that she has shared this private matter with others, and how deeply her betrayal has hurt you. Then say that you have forgiven her, that you want to remain her friend and will never mention the incident again.

She will react in one of two ways....either she will express sorrow, remorse and brokenness at her actions (there will probably be some tears at this point), or she will become defensive and angry and may even storm out of the restaurant. Either way, you will have done the right thing. In the future, if you have a need to confess, call your pastor or priest.

Father Massey will answer your questions. Write to him at [email protected] or P.O. Box 510, Fayetteville, GA 30214.