Contributing Writer

As I sit here trying to slug through another article, I hear a loud boom

thundering from above. It's not one of those late-afternoon summertime

thunderstorms that seem to come rolling in without warning just to ruin your

golf game. It's not the wrath of God for all those things yours truly

has done in the past that no one's found out about. It's just The

Boy up in his room, doing something he shouldn't.

Suddenly it dawns on me that parents nowadays don't have a clue as

to what their kids do, which is kind of disconcerting being a father of a

kid myself. But this article isn't about The Boy, leastwise not yet.

(He's still up in his room still making noise, and I really don't

want to investigate.) Rather, this article is about some of the stuff we

did and got away with that our parents never found out about. Or did they?

For instance, my dad never knew that it was twin brother Mark's idea

to use the laundry hamper as a sleigh. We took turns climbing in it and sliding

down the steps from the first floor to the basement. We tried sliding down

the steps on the second floor, but the carpet slowed us down. Being only

wood, the basement steps let us slide down fast - REALLY FAST.

Dad never found out it was me who went crashing through the basement door

when Mark gave too big of a push at the top of the steps. Soon after my unfortunate

incident with the basement door, Dad had a special job for Mark and me: mowing

our grass for an entire month all by ourselves. He said it was the perfect

way to build up our legs for the upcoming football season at Cripple Creek

Middle School. We were gonna be Fighting Ducks. Looking back, I think one

of my brothers ratted me out. Probably Mark.

When we all attended Briarwood High School, home of the mighty Buccaneers,

big brother James said that no one would find out it was us four boys who

rolled the cheerleaders' yard the night before homecoming. We gathered

up all the toilet paper in the house Thursday night, snuck out, rolled the

two cheerleaders' houses down the street, and then snuck back in. No

one ever found out it was us. We won Homecoming Friday night, but the whole

next week coach Muscledine made us boys run laps after ever one else had

gone home. Mom, for some reason, made sure there wasn't toilet paper

in our bathroom for a month after that.

Mom never knew when she sent us to pick berries for cobbler that we'd

actually picked three quarts instead of one. We picked one quart for the

cobbler that night and ate two quarts on the way