"Catwoman" isn't the worst movie ever made. It's

just trying to be the worst. Starting with a bad script and a

director named Pitof, it looked like there was a very good chance

this could be the one. Unfortunately, Halle Berry had to star

as the feline heroine, keeping this mess barely afloat.

After having made history as the first African American woman

to win the best actress Oscar for her touching portrayal in "Monster's

Ball," Berry must have felt so invincible she decided to

tackle something a little fluffier. She is the best thing about

this disaster of a movie, but it still makes her look ridiculous.

She looks great in the role. She is a very beautiful woman,

very easy on the eyes. It's just too bad you are too busy

wincing at every corny line and tired plot twist to really notice

how hard she tries to save this turkey. The characters are silly

to the point of embarrassment. They are an amalgam of leftover

ideas scraped out of the superhero trashcan.

Everything in this story happens too fast. The movie is made

for impatient people. Quick cuts, CGI acrobatics and a plot that

hits the ground running leave no room for suspension of disbelief. "Catwoman" is

all about disbelief. You won't believe Halle Berry chose

to do this role. You won't believe Sharon Stone actually

read the script before signing on. You won't believe that

you actually paid good money to sit through this bomb. Even Ruth

from "Six Feet Under" isn't spared as a cat-loving

old lady who acts as the Yoda to Halle's Luke Skywalker.

I knew this was going to be bad going in. I didn't realize

that there would be nothing to amuse me besides my bag of popcorn.

For all its action and special effects, "Catwoman" just

sits there staring back at you. No one seems to believe what

they are doing. They just go through the motions. Their eyes

seem to be saying, "Get me out of this movie!"

Big budget, flashy films like this usually have some big payoff.

Not here. The deadly makeup scenario is wasted, a subplot that

was utilized in Tim Burton's "Batman" to much

better effect.

There's no point in giving specific details about Pitof's

sappy story. It would only bore you. Imagine that every superhero

movie since "Superman" were put into a blender, pureed

and poured out over its audience and I think you will begin to

get the sensation that you have just seen this cat-astrophe.

Halle says it best when she remarks in her sexy, super-vixen

voice the real explanation for this flop, "My bad."

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