Remember the movie "Dances With Wolves?" Kevin

Costner portrayed a Civil War hero who was reassigned to the western

frontier. One day

a group of native Americans watched him play with a wolf in a meadow.

Hence, his new name: Dances With Wolves.

Husbands, what if your wife gave you a name based on what you do in

the home? Sits on Couch. Hoards Remote. Reads Newspaper at Breakfast

Table. Plays Much Golf.

Okay, maybe you're not

that bad. I am, at times. How can we change our wives' perceptions?

Make a P.A.C.T. with your wife:

- P=Pray. In premarital counseling I tell couples, "God has

given two paths to intimacy for the Christian couple. One is physical

intimacy. The other, spiritual intimacy, is discovered when you pray

together." Prayer bonds a husband and a wife like nothing else.

It forces vulnerability and honesty. It allows a couple to share a few

moments of intimate conversation with one another and with God.

Husbands, take initiative.

Ask your wife to pray with you. Hold her hands. Bow before God. Ask

Him to bless your home and marriage. You may

have to remove that macho mask for a minute or two, but I promise it'll

be worth it.

A=Accept. Foster an accepting

atmosphere in your home. Our wives aren't

perfect. They make mistakes from time to time. But remember, so do we

(probably more often than they do). Realizing your wife accepts you with

all your faults, accept her in the same manner.

Additionally, in a world where

beautiful models with perfect bodies and unblemished skin are splashed

onto every magazine cover and television

show, our wives may worry, "Does he still think I'm pretty?

Do I still turn his head?"

We're quick to criticize and make fun. Instead, let's assure

our wives, "To me, you're the most beautiful woman in the world." Put

her on a pedestal. Let her know through your words and actions that there's

nothing else, and no one else, as important to you as her.

- C=Communicate. Guys, talk. Our wives aren't

like us. Studies say women speak an average of 25,000 words a day.

Men speak less than

half that. We can sit in front of a ball game and carry on entire conversations

with one another by grunting and pointing.

Our wives need something more.

Conversation. Small talk. Big talk. Every night, as trite as it may

seem, ask that age old question, "Dear,

how was your day?" Then listen. Ask questions. Act interested. Even

better, be interested.

- T=Touch. Here's the scene. You're in a restaurant.

You see a couple across the room. They're sitting on the same side

of the booth. They talk and touch and giggle, completely enthralled by

one another. What do you conclude? They're not married yet.

You see another couple. They're

sitting across from each other. Both study their menus. Ignore each

other. Each look as though they want

to be somewhere else. Must be their 25th anniversary!

This need not be. Husbands,

when you're walking to the car, grab

your wife's hand. Hold it. Throw an arm across her shoulder. When

you walk in the house give her a peck on the cheek. When you see her

across a crowded room, wink.

And one final suggestion:

Clip this article from the paper. Put it in a card;a dainty one with

lace and flowers. And write a note: "Honey

(or Dear, Schnoochums, Muffin, whatever applies), Let's make a P.A.C.T

... "

Who knows? Maybe she'll

give you a new name. Holds My Hand. Winks Across Room. Loves His Wife.

(Daniel Overdorf is the senior

minister of Fayetteville Christian Church at New Hope and Hickory Roads

in Fayetteville. He may be heard each Sunday

at 10:30 a.m. as a part of the church's weekly worship. Daniel may

be contacted at the church office (770-461-8763) or at [email protected].)