I'm a dog person ... have

been all my life. I come from a long line of dog people. My dad, he was

a dog person, his father was a dog person and his father before him. So

it's no surprise that The Boy is a dog person too.

Dogs are cool. No matter how

long I leave my dog, he's always happy to see me come back. Whether

I take a short walk with The Wife around the corner or leave on a five-day

vacation to Boston to see the Liberty Bell, when I get back home, the

welcome is just the same - a lot of barking, tail-wagging and a big

lick on the face - from the dog, not The Wife. Yep, man's best

friend is aptly named, and The Boy and I are definitely dog people. That

is, until I got married.

Four and a half years ago,

I got married to The Wife. When I said, "For better or worse,"

my and The Boy's life changed forever. And, I might add, for the

better. Not only did a beautiful, smart lady come into our lives, soon

two small kittens came also. Now we are no longer dog people; we are cat

people.

Right after we got married,

The Wife said she loved cats and wanted to get one. I, being the man of

the house and the dog person that I am, replied, "Yes, Honey. I love

cats too." Upon hearing this, The Boy started to say something, but

I gave him 20 bucks, and he went away.

The next day Wife and I took

a trip to the county animal shelter and picked out our two new furry friends.

She picked out a solid black cat, which has turned out to be the sweetest

animal I've ever been around. Precious purrs whenever you hold her

but has only meowed five times in the last three years. I picked out a

small tabby cat. We call her Brat Cat, and she hasn't stopped yelling.

My tabby cat has issues, a LOT of issues.

Since becoming a cat owner,

I have discovered a few things. First of all, you don't own a cat;

it owns you. Last year it seems we spent all that money on new front room

furniture just so they could have a nice warm place to stretch out and

go to sleep. When we're not around, our innocent little fur balls

are sleeping on the expensive dining room table we just bought. Cats climb

drapes simply because they can, and a coughed-up fur ball is something

you don't really want to see.

The small tabby cat that I

rescued from the animal shelter, got shots for, bought special food for,

and scooped the litter box every day for the last four years doesn't

want anything to do with me. The Boy does nothing for the cat, and when

he walks into the room, the little fur ball goes nuts and runs over to

him purring and screaming until he picks her up. Like I said, my cat has

issues. The Boy does, too, but that's a different column.

The two cats are always running

around fighting, but at the end of the day, they seem to make up. When

it's time for bed, they go into the office, climb up on the cat tree

and put themselves to sleep. The Wife thinks it nice how they always make

up at the end of the day. The Boy and I fight all the time too, but there's

no way I'm sleeping with him in any cat tree.

Some other interesting things

I've learned about cats just recently. At the mere sight of a vacuum

cleaner, cats will dart away in fear immediately. If a big purple exercise

ball is bounced on hardwood floors, a tabby cat will jump straight up

five feet, puff up twice its normal size and hide for hours. Cats are

good hunters! I know that my cat's caught something when she looks

at me innocently with her big yellow eyes while a blue tail and small

foot hang out of her mouth. Yes, my cat is a lizard catcher. The black

cat loves to play with spiders, crickets, and ladybugs, but mine seems

to like playing with lizards. Somehow, I don't think the lizards

have nearly as much fun.

If you get tired of paying

that exterminator, just get a couple of cats. They'll take care of

your bug problem, plus they are more entertaining. Even scorpions are

no match for a couple of well-trained attack kitty cats. Just be sure

you close your bedroom door at night, or you could wake up with a big

fur ball purring on your chest and a lizard dropped in your face.

[Rick Ryckeley is employed

be reached at [email protected].]