Someone much wiser than me

once said, "Everyone knows when they were born, but no one knows

when they're going to die." Those are some very thought-provoking

words to start this holiday season; words that could change the very dynamics

of how one views the next couple of weeks with family and friends.

What if this were to be the

last Thanksgiving you spent with your Mom? What would you say to her?

Now that you too have gone through the pain of childbirth and have children

of your own, do you have a higher respect and understanding of what your

mom went through for you?

Would you ask your mom how

she juggled raising five children, taking care of a husband, two dogs,

one cat, and grocery shopping, cooking dinner every night and still -

somehow - have time left over to help out with everyone's homework?

You really would like to know how she managed all that because you can't

and you only have two kids.

Would you tell your mom you

really didn't mean to take her for granted now that you too do laundry

every morning before going to work and every night after dinner? Will

you tell her now you understand why she got mad when you didn't take

the stacks of clean clothes upstairs and put them away when she asked

you to? If you did take the clothes upstairs, they stayed on the floor

of your closet and got dirty again. Then you simply put them back into

the laundry hamper, making your mom do countless more loads than needed.

Would you now have empathy

for your mom who tried to stretch money as far as it would go by cooking

pot roast twice a week, even though you protested every time that you

hated it? Would you let her know you realize now why she got mad when

anyone wasted food? Food was expensive back then as it is now.

At this "last Thanksgiving,"

would you tell her you now appreciate everything she tried to do for you,

all of the sacrifices she made and all of the life lessons she tried to

teach in the eighteen short years you lived with her? Would you tell her

that those lessons you resisted so hard and didn't listen to are

the same ones you're now trying hard to teach your children? Would

you ask her for help, 'cause for some reason you kids won't

listen either.

What if this were to be the

last Thanksgiving you spent with your dad? What would you say to him?

Now that you're bigger and stronger than he is, would you stand up

to him and finally say what you think - telling him all the things

you wanted to tell him when you were growing up but were too small and

afraid to do so? Would you say you resented all of his rules and his constantly

telling you what to do?

Now that you have children,

would you tell your dad that you didn't like it when he took the

car away and made you walk for three months after you got that speeding

ticket in front of a school zone? Would you tell your dad how unfair you

thought it was that he lent you money when you asked but made you pay

it back by working for him so you could learn the value of a dollar -

unlike the other kids you grew up with.

If this were the last Thanksgiving

I spent with my dad, what would I say? When I saw him, I'd walk up

to him, hug him and say, "Thanks, Dad, for giving." If this

were the last Thanksgiving I spent with my Mom, what would I say? I would

say, "Thanks, Mom, for giving and putting your life on hold to raise

us five kids." Sadly though, I will never get that chance; Mom has

been gone for many Thanksgivings now.

When you're giving thanks

for the dry turkey, sweet potatoes, corn bread stuffing, deviled eggs,

and pumpkin pie next Thursday, be sure to look up and give thanks to those

who took care of you for the first 18 years of your life - and some of

us for a little bit longer. Give thanks to those people this Thanksgiving

'cause, "Everyone knows when they were born, but no one knows

when they're going to die."

[Rick Ryckeley is employed

be reached at [email protected].]