According to the Oct. 20 issue

of Coin World magazine, the federal government is spending 33 million

dollars - that's $33,000,000.00 - over a five-year period

to promote the new Series 2004 $20 bill.

That's right. The feds are spending $33 million to publicize the

new $20 bill. My question is, "Why?" Isn't that a bit like

publicizing "air?"

It's not like one has a choice about using the new bill. Personally,

I like the new $20 bill. It has a smidgen of color and, I'm told,

it's much more difficult to counterfeit. Well, hooray, but spending

$33 million to tell us about a bill that we have to use anyway? What's

the point? And this time, the Republicans can't blame the Democrats

for this taxpayer rip-off.

The new currency, cutely named "NexGen currency," was introduced

in October with the new $20 bill and new $50 and $100 bills will come

into service over the next few years. The new bills feature new security

measures and have new background colors of pastel green, peach, and blue.

According to Coin World , the $33 million contract went to a firm named

Burson-Marsteller and will pay for:

- Market research used to develop and deploy resources for maximum

reach and development (whatever that means).

- Development and distribution of training and public education materials

in 22 languages.

- Direct outreach to businesses and organizations representing key

cash-handling and consumer audiences.

- News media outreach to provide the news media with the information

needed to accurately inform their audiences about the new currency (What?

Free news releases won't do the job?).

- Development of a new web site about the currency (Oh, please!).

- Placement of paid ads in magazines and trade publications (It's

true; I've seen full page color ads - the most expensive kind

- in several big name magazines).

- Efforts will be made to encourage popular U. S. television programming

to feature visuals and messages and the new money in their story lines.

Okay, fine. I don't mind a new bill. If the U. S. government wants

to make the American dollar look more like the Euro, that's just

peachy keen with me. Currency collectors will love it and the new "new"

$20 bills do look better than the old "new" $20 bills. And

I realize that the "chad" incident of the last election proved

to those in government that some Americans don't have the good sense

that God gave a goose. But why not just do a press conference and tell

America about the new bills? Can't Dan Rather, Ted Koppel, Shepard

Smith, Wolf Blitzer, and Peter Jennings be trusted enough to just do a

couple of stories about the new currency? Is it really necessary to spend

mega millions on a harebrained campaign during these difficult economic

times when lawmakers are arguing about the $87 billion dollars is being

funneled to Iraq? Do we really need to blow an additional $33 million

on "P.R." for the new bills? Why aren't the lawmakers arguing

about that? Isn't it enough to just put the new $20 bills in the

banks and force us to use them? It's always worked in the past, hasn't

it? Haven't we quickly adjusted to using the new $20 bills that were

introduced just a short time ago and are now becoming obsolete?

But here's what really rots my socks. A friend of mine suffered a

serious back injury while on active duty with the U. S. Navy a few years

back. This service-connected disability has plagued him for years. Recently,

he became much worse and was confined to his bed in sheer agony. He was

told by one Veterans Administration Hospital official that he could be

treated in Charleston, S.C., but there were 68 people ahead of him on

the waiting list! So, while the feds fiddled, he languished in indescribable

pain until a U. S. Congressman got involved and, as a result, he recently

received surgery in a civilian hospital. And now we are told that our

reservists returning from the war in Iraq are receiving inadequate medical

treatment and are dwelling in sub-standard housing.

But be of good cheer; the country has a new rainbow $20 bill with pastel

colors and the government is spending $33 million to tell you all about

it. Oh, and I'm told that, so far, most vending machines won't

accept the new bills. Aren't you proud?

[David Epps is rector of Christ the King Charismatic Episcopal Church,

which meets at 8 a.m. and 10 a.m. Sundays on Ga. Highway 34 between Peachtree

City and Newnan. He may be contacted at [email protected] or at

www.CTKCEC.org.]