Women, generally, hold the

two most difficult jobs in America. The first is that of single parent

mothers. They work full time jobs; nightly cook a balanced meal for the

kids; help the kids with homework; clean the house; get the kids ready

for bed; all of which leaves two or three minutes for personal time before

they crash into their lonely bed; getting up the next morning, they start

the whole routine again. Their only relief comes when the non-custodian

father takes the kids for all too brief of a weekend.

Then, there comes the other

most difficult job in America. And talk about that job is in keeping with

the theme of this column for the month of October, which has been designated

Clergy Appreciation Month. That job is the wife of the pastor. She, not

he, has the most difficult job in the church. And this column this day

salutes all the wives of all the pastors. You are under-appreciated, often

neglected, and mostly suffer in silence through the decades that your

husband serves his sometimes not so sweet little lambs.

My hometown pastor's wife

tells the story that while her husband held a teaching position at a university,

he got the yearning for the "warmth of the pastorate." After

he returned to the warm "hot fires" of the pastorate, she never

let him forget his statement. While serving his final church, he was ridiculed,

the subject of malicious gossip, and tormented by the church's deacons.

There were those who said he was not "spiritual" enough while

those outside the church often expressed appreciation for his contributions

to the "uplifting" of the city.

All the time, his wife stowed

it all and suffered in silence. As she set foot regularly on church grounds,

she had a smile for everyone - even the ones who were working feverishly

for the undoing of her husband. No one dared ask her about her true feelings.

Perhaps, even to this day. Most church people don't want to know

the hurts and haunts of the pastor's wife. They just want her to

be a sweet little one with no opinions about anything significant save

her volunteering to serve in the nursery.

Once, in a church I served,

I suggested that my wife serve on the church nominating committee. She

has a good sense of discernment. But after the deacon chairman made the

appointment and before the week was out, a senior and respected deacon

to seek my wife's resignation approached me. She complied and I could

tell a little some of her lofting feelings about the church died. The

argument was that her serving on the nominating committee would be perceived

as too much power in the hands of the pastorate.

In the way things go, the pastor

often comes home and dumps on his wife about what sister so-and- so said

and what power broker himself is demanding this week. What does she do

with it? What she really wants to do is make a few home-styled Molotov

cocktails and toss a few. Or she would like to sing a solo the coming

Sunday, entitled, "Take This Job and Shove It." However, most

pastors' wives take their burdens to God in prayer. They couldn't

make it any other way. Consequently, they probably, more than anyone else,

are the most spiritual people in the church.

I would say that if the average

church member took what most pastor's wives take and respond in like

fashion, they would be right up there with Mother Teresa or is it Saint

Teresa. So, thank you, wives of the pastorate. You should be the most

respected, admired, and revered one at church this Sunday and every Sunday.

It may be that God in heaven will appoint you permanent chair of the board.

Then, they will listen!

[John Hatcher is pastor of

Outreach International Center, 1091 South Jeff Davis Drive, Fayetteville,

Georgia 30215. 770-719-0303.]

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