A simple and effective system

- the stack and pile system. One that, I'm proud to say, has

been in use at our house for years.

I originally started using

stack and pile while attending the University. You know the system: any

important papers or folders are stacked on top of the desk in the office,

easily within reach. When the desk becomes full, simply pile the stacks

on the floor. When the floor is full, buy a bigger house.

I ask you, what system could

be easier? Believe it or not, someone has come up with one...or have

they?

Ah yes, the stack and pile

system, a simple system for anything important anywhere in the house -

a system in harmony with nature, or so I thought. Then along comes Feng

Shui. Translated into English, it means, "How to totally disorganize

the stack and pile system."

The following is a comparison

of my Stack and Pile system vs. the ancient Chinese art of energy flow

and organization called Feng Shui. Wonder which system will win out? Hint:

it's my newspaper column.

With Feng Shui, you have energy

flowing throughout your house called Chi. If there's too much stuff

in your house, the Chi won't flow and you'll have no energy.

Feng Shui dictates that you clean your house and throw out all the stuff

you have painstakingly collected over the years at yard sales. Not so

with my Stack and Pile system.

The Stack and Pile system is

simpler and requires a lot less effort. By the time you work eight hours

at your job, come home and cook dinner, do two loads of laundry (that

is, of course, before your son brings down his full laundry basket), feed

the cats and the dog, and then finally sit down at ten, you'll have

no energy left to clean or throw things out. The Stack and Pile system

understands this, and that right now, you don't care about being

in harmony with nature; all you just want is to be in harmony with your

bed.

The solution is to do nothing

and let the Stack and Pile system take over. The Stack and Pile system

says after eight hours of work and an hour commute come home and pile

your self onto the couch and watch Dr. Phil. When the kids get home from

school, have them bring down their laundry and pile the clothes on the

floor of the laundry room. When Dr. Phil is over, call the local pizza

place, have them deliver dinner to your front door, and then have the

kids stack the pizza box next to the trashcan outside. The Stack and Pile

system, one - Feng Shui, zero.

Feng Shui covers nine life

situations, or in other words, there are nine areas of your house that

mean different things. Once inside the front door, the back left room

means prosperity. Feng Shui wants you to clean this area, paint it purple,

red, or green and soon you will see the money pour in. Yeah, right. My

Stack and Pile system has a much better way to prosperity � I call it

the "Stack and Pile Dollar Bill game."

You say you never have enough

money? You can't possibly afford to go on vacation? Never in a million

years could you and your wife go on a four-day cruise? Well then dear

reader, the time-tested Stack and Pile Dollar Bill game is for you! No

heavy lifting or long workouts necessary. The Dollar Bill game - brought

to you by the same person who invented the Stack and Pile system - me.

Buy your wife a new pair of

shoes. Trust me; she'll love you for it. Keep the shoebox and stack

it in the bottom of your closet. Every day for the next year, don't

spend a dollar bill. Buy everything with $5, $10, $20, $50, or $100 and

save all the ones you get back in change. Once you're home, stack

all the ones in the shoebox. By the end of a year, you won't believe

how much money has piled up. When you count all those ones, you can go

on that trip that a year earlier you couldn't even dream of affording.

All thanks to the Stack and Pile Dollar Bill game. Drop me an e-mail when

you get back from your vacation. The Stack and Pile system, two � 3,000-year-old

Feng Shui, zero.

One last thing about Feng Shui-ish

- you can hang up crystals to divert the bad Chi, paint rooms red,

purple, or green to get more money. But if you really want to change your

life for the better, adopt the Stack and Pile storage system for your

home. Trust me, with every nook and corner of your house stacked and piled

to the ceiling with all your stuff, your better half will love you for

it. And if she doesn't, just show her that shoebox full of money.

Late last night I made my way

to the kitchen to make The Boy my famous vanilla and chocolate syrup milk

shake but could not find my milk shake maker. It was 20 years old, rusted

on the sides, took up half of the bottom cabinet under the sink, and when

cut on made a noise as loud as some of the airplanes that fly over our

house, but it still worked. Upon further investigation, The Wife said

that my milkshake maker had Feng Shui-ed its way out the back door and

to the dump. Final score: The Stack and Pile system, two - Feng Shui,

one.

[Rick Ryckeley is employed

be reached at [email protected].]