Time is running out.

out, Sabine and I will have 10 days to come up with a unique, couple-themed

Halloween costume for a party we have been invited to. So far, we have

had no luck whatsoever. For every idea that crosses my mind, there are

dozens of reasons to cancel them out.

Take Romeo and Juliet, for

instance. Yes, it is romantic and it requires wearing clothes that you

don't typically wear. But no. I'm not wearing tights. And before

you write in letters about me being sexist or insecure in my sexuality,

I have worn tights for Shakespearean shows on more than one occasion.

But I'm not going to be the guy at the party in tights. This also

cancels out Robin Hood, Peter Pan and Herbert Hoover.

Speaking of Hoover, we're

not going as a reverse couple and going in drag. I don't want to

be the guy that someone at the party mistakenly hits on. It could also

raise a whole host of questions that neither I nor the unfortunate drunk

would want to answer.

Sonny and Cher is out because

Sabine and I are the same height.

The list goes on and on because

there is also another problem - the friends we are going with.

Now, don't get me wrong,

I love them. They are probably our best friends down here, but they instantly

beat us with a great costume idea that will be really hard to top. They

are going as Larry and Althea Flynt. He is going in a wheelchair which

he spray painted gold and she is really dolling it up. It's funny

and topical (Flynt did get a good number of votes in the recall election)

and other than the wheelchair, the clothes can be found just about anywhere.

So, you see the conundrum:

What are we going to go as that's equally as funny? If we can't

think of anything, we'll be the lamest people there because we'll

be entering with them. I suppose we could keep the porno thing going and

we could go as Hugh Hefner and a Playboy Bunny, but if I'm not going

to wear tights, I certainly won't wear a Playboy Bunny outift.

The pressure is mounting, though,

and with each passing day more and more costumes seem too plain. I mean,

forget about going as pirates or greasers or doctors and nurses. We need

something special.

Please forward ideas to me

at my e-mail address. If I choose your idea, I'll find some way to

reward you.

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