This column

is directed at all supposed heterosexual couples who are married and who

attend church. Indeed, if you are married as a Steve and an Eve, you have

the basic foundations for God's initial plans all along: one man and one

woman.

But just because

the outside of the box looks good, the increasing word is that there is

trouble, exponential trouble brewing and shooting off within although

everyone else esteems the family highly and even dreams of modeling their

own after it. God forbid.

A brief peek

at the marriage and divorce rates in Fayette/Clayton counties will convince

you we have somewhat of an epidemic among our marriages. Marriage dysfunction

requires the addressing of certain questions: who will get what; who will

have custody of the children; how about the jewelry; how do you split

up the furniture, and the retirement accounts. Who gets to keep the brand

new BMW he purchased as a birthday gift to her but it still is in his

name (legally)? What a mess!

Now the marriage

experts are telling us pastors that the divorce rate among those who attend

our churches and among those who do not attend our churches manifest no

significant differences in divorce rate (perhaps there's a little fear

that marriages outside the church are faring off a little bit better than

those of us in the church.).

How does the

best among the ministers attempt to give us some rationalization and understanding

for this?

I strongly

believe in third party intervention in order to save and strengthen a

marriage as well as redeem the children from world-war scenarios every

night. Indeed, two is a couple; but three is therapy. Based on nearly

29 years of marriage to the same wife, I recommend marriage counseling

in the following situations:

· You

feel you are drifting part

· You

are struggling with depression

· You

cannot find time as a couple

· You

need to re-ignite your sexual intimacy

· You

have some sort of addiction

· You

have the same conflict over and over

· You

avoid conflicts repeatedly and take some things to extreme

· You

do not feel you are understood

· You

disagree over important issues.

If you or your

spouse together or separately is manifesting one or more of the above

symptoms of a failing marriage, get help soon. If a medical doctor had

offered a list of nine symptoms for which to look out to avoid serious

heath issues, you would make an appointment in lightening flash time.

Since here

we are talking about the emotional, mental, and physical well-being of

your family, your response time in getting help would also be a fast.

Call your pastor, priest, and rabbi. Heaven, I am so concerned about the

state of marriage, call me and I will give you my best counseling in three

or four sessions without cost (Why without cost? My church pays me an

adequate income and my call is to strengthen the life of our community.)

When people are dying in their marriage, money for me is the last thing

I think about. So, call me at 770-719-0303; you can call me at my home

to set up an appointment at 770-461-2546.

John

Hatcher is pastor of

Outreach International

Center

1091 South Jeff Davis

Drive

Fayetteville, Georgia

30215

770-719-0303

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