I know some

of you may be waiting for the second installment of the Virtual Fayette

County Road Trip, but it will have to wait until next week. As a bonus,

I will add a few more Fayette Counties to the column so that we can finish

the virtual road trip in a timely manner.

This week though

I would like to discuss ways to Americanize Europe and make it better

and ways to Europify the U.S. and make it better. You may be thinking

that "Europify" is not a word, but it may be one day. Heck,

even "D'oh" has made the dictionary.

I just returned

from a 10-day trip to Germany and Italy. It was a great trip. During my

stay across the pond I started thinking about the things I liked about

Europe and the U.S. and the things I didn't like. I think if a little

more of both areas were introduced into the other, the world would be

a better place.

Europe has

already welcomed a lot of stuff from America into their nations, but it

could accept more. For instance, I think the bathrooms in Europe should

be uniform. The bathrooms in Germany were fine, although a little different

from U.S. facilities in that many of the toilets have a shelf. It's weird,

but you get over it. Italy, on the other hand, is in desperate need for

an overhaul and standard facilities. Many of the restrooms we visited

in Italy did not have toilet seats, which does prevent one from having

to sit on a nasty seat but also doesn't offer a place to sit at all. This

was not good and it did not go over well with the wife.

Perhaps the

strangest thing of all was the fancy restaurant that only had a hole in

the ground in the men's room. The staff of the restaurant wore white tuxedos

and were extremely graceful and helpful, but the restroom looked like

something out of a horror movie. So, let's send Europe toilets made of

good, old-fashioned U.S. porcelain and bring them out of the dark ages

and into the 21st century.

Another thing

about Italy that rubbed me wrong was the fact that they close up shop

for a period between noon and 2 p.m. From what I hear, Spain follows suit.

I understand that it gives people a chance to take a break and maybe connect

with their families, but I find this unacceptable. Especially when we

found that opening hours for a number of places, including the lost baggage

office and the rental car office at the airport, was apparently whenever

the person opening felt like it. Restaurants should not be closed for

lunch and lost baggage offices should not be closed ever, as long as flights

are still coming in and people are still losing bags.

The only other

thing I could think of that could be done to Americanize is to offer sensibly

priced value meals at American style fast-food places and to treat sodas

the way they are treated in the states. The Burger King in Germany charged

what amounts to six dollars for a Whopper value meal and no, I didn't

order one anyway. I looked at the menu and nearly fainted. As for soda

in Europe, it typically comes in a small glass with no ice and the refills

are not free. This was a trip where I fell in love with water again and

also drank beer, which only cost approximately 10 cents more than a soda.

Even if I didn't like beer, which I do, I would have drank it on principle

alone.

But it wasn't

all shady bathrooms, expensive fast food and lazy customer service, Europe

gets a lot of things right too.

First off,

their public transportation is incredible and it should be envied and

implemented in the States. You can get anywhere without a car, thanks

to buses, subways and trains. If there are lots of people out there needing

a job, why not create a fantastic public transportation system that lets

Americans reduce stress and pollution and also lets them travel their

own country cheaper and easier than ever before?

We did rent

a car in Italy and despite getting lost on our way to the hotel, the roads

were very easy to understand eventually, thanks to a plethora of easy

to follow road signs. Atlanta could probably take a cue from Venice and

have signs that point drivers to major landmarks, hotels and highways.

After that initial hellish journey to the hotel, we never got lost again,

which is impressive because Sabine and I frequently lose our car in parking

lots.

Europe also

has thousands of tiny cafes, restaurants, inns and shops and America is

lacking those in a big way. The Starbucks, Olive Gardens and Wal-Marts

have replaced the Mom-and-Pop stores all over this country and I think

the character and individuality of our cities and towns has suffered.

We give big business breaks; why not make it easier for small places to

open and find their niche in their communities?

Other things

that could make America even cooler would be art within cities and towns

- think the Cow Parade but all the time and in cities everywhere, and

pedestrian zones. There were times in Venice and Chioggia, which is a

small fishing village, that you could walk in any direction, without fear

of being clipped by a car, and see an amazing statue or piece of architecture.

In Koblenz, Germany, one such statue, the Schangel, has become the centerpiece

of the town. It is on nearly every manhole in the old part of town and

when you reach it, the statue of the bratty boy spits out water at varying

intervals. Though not its original intention, it has become a tourist

attraction and is a delightful way to cool off on a hot summer day.

These are just

some ideas and I realize that, like lots of things, it is easier said

than done. All in all, I'm glad to be back stateside, sleeping in my own

bed and using my own bathroom.

Next week -

more Fayette Counties around the U.S. - I promise.

Back

to the Top of the Page