What are your

family secrets? Every family has one or two or more. Secrets can be good,

funny, bad, and ugly. There are secrets that are sources of love and affirmation.

There are secrets that can be used to manipulate and destroy.

My father and

I had a secret. Often we would cozy up to one another when I was a pre-adolescent

and rub each other's arms determining which arm was the smoothest. Of

course since his arm had more hairs, he always won out. Regardless, I

can remember it as a secret act of meaningful touch.

Then, there

was that Christmas time when I was ever so anxious to find out what my

oldest sister was getting me for Christmas. She had a daughter two years

my junior (as I was in the fourth grade). I played a game and officially

formed a secret club and invited my niece to be a charter member. But,

in order to be a member, each one had to tell a secret. You guessed it.

I exacted from her what her mother, my sister, was getting me for Christmas.

To this day, I don't remember the gift, but I do remember manipulating

my niece.

The oldest

Old Testament book of the Bible, Genesis, tells of a family secret that

was best kept in the family and not blabbed out to everyone It seemed

that old Noah had planted a vineyard upon the flood-reproved earth. He

harvested his grapes and made him some wine. He had a little too much

to drink, however, and was discovered in his birthday suit by his son

Ham. After his eyes got back into their sockets, Ham went and blabbed

the entire incident to his two brothers and who knows who else. Because

he blabbed, even you and I know all about it. Upon discovering that he

had been seen uncovered, Noah pronounced a curse on Ham. The truth is

this: that was a family secret that should have been kept in the heart

and memory of Ham.

How many children

have happened in on mom and dad in the process of bedroom aerobics? These

are memories to be stored, not recalled at a gossip session. I am glad

neither my mother or my wife chose to tell everything I did or said.

But there are

secrets not best kept. Genesis also talks about another family: a man

with sons and daughters. After moving into a new settlement, Jacob's daughter

was raped by the local, pagan prince. Rather than moving toward confrontation

and resolution, Jacob permitted his sons to take revenge upon the prince

and all men of the community. A full scale slaughter of all men and looting

of all possessions followed on the part of Jacob's sons. Please turn to

Genesis, chapters 34 and 35, and read all about it.

Full scale

destruction results when these kinds of secrets are not handled properly.

Right now in our metro area there are children living with incestuous

fathers and the mothers believe the best thing is to keep it a secret.

It is not true.

It is better

for a man to spend 15 to 20 years in prison rather than his child spending

the rest of her life thinking she did something dirty and wrong suffering

all the time in silence. I don't believe we the general public realize

these kinds of secrets damage the hearts, minds, and souls of family members.

These kinds of secrets destroy people, create sexual predators, and cripple

intimacy of affected family members for life.

I encourage

that if you are keeping secrets of this nature, you have a holy obligation

to seek help from your minister or another caring professional. Sitting

on this kind of secret only aggravates it into something worse. This is

an instance when it's mind over matter. You must take matters into your

own hands and get help whoever you are in the family where this sort of

thing is happening. Act today!

John

Hatcher is pastor of

Outreach International

Center

1091 South Jeff Davis

Drive

Fayetteville, Georgia

30215

770-719-0303

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