I was a bit

rude a few mornings ago, I fear. I had been awake some 30 hours and was

on the way home from an Atlanta hospital early one morning when I decided

I needed to stop at the supermarket for a few items. The parking lot was

nearly empty and shrouded with fog and I parked near the entrance. When

I returned to the car with my groceries, the fog had lifted and I realized

that I had parked in one of those "reserved for expectant mothers"

spaces.

"Oh, well,"

I thought. "At least I didn't park in a handicapped parking space."

However, as

I was leaving, another shopper, a lady, decided to educate me on the error

of my ways. I'm afraid I was a bit abrupt and downright rude. My first

excuse is that I was exhausted, it was foggy, my knee hurt (I'm scheduled

for knee surgery next month), and I wasn't paying attention. My second

excuse is that it's not against the law to park in a "reserved for

expectant mothers" parking space. The provision of that space is

a courtesy provided by the store and is a public relations tool. Nevertheless,

I apologize for my rudeness.

What's the

deal with these "reserved for expectant mothers" parking signs

anyway? Since when did becoming pregnant cause one to be on a par with

handicapped people? Admittedly, some women have a very difficult time

with pregnancy and perhaps their doctors should issue them a "handicapped"

permit. But I have known women who played tennis two days before delivery

and a large number of women that I have known have worked at their jobs

right up until they had to go to the hospital.

A medical person

recently told me that pregnant women are encouraged to walk for their

health. Maybe these signs should be at the rear of the parking lot, not

the front. Besides, it's discriminatory. Where are the "reserved

for expectant fathers" spaces?

Well, I'm tired

of it. If they get reserved parking spaces, I must insist that other people

get their reserved spaces too. How about "reserved for veterans"

parking spaces? These folks have served their country and many have been

wounded in combat. I think it would be a nice gesture if they had their

own space.

Or, after 3:30

p.m., I think there should be a space or two reserved for school teachers.

These poor people have put up with 30 kids all day, along with a smattering

of irate parents, and I think they should get to move to the front of

the parking lot before they go home.

Cops, firefighters,

and EMS people should get a break too. I say, "Give these heroes

a space!" Then there are the people who work for a hospice. The supermarket

should offer home delivery for these people who, every day, minister to

and comfort the dying.

Give politicians,

especially Washington politicos, a space too, but put it around back next

to the dumpster. And joggers give them a space way back at the rear of

the parking lot. They shouldn't mind walking the distance since they are

used to punishing themselves anyway.

Then there

are the people who drive brand-new fancy luxury vehicles or sports cars

who park on the front row and take up two or three spaces so that no one

will scratch their precious new toys. I propose that the police tow these

"space taker-uppers" to the impound lot and give them their

own space. And if the vehicle gets "dinged" or banged up along

the way, oh well.

Finally, I

propose that the following have their own reserved space on the front

row: AARP members, people with gray hair and white beards, Marine veterans,

people with bad knees, priests/pastors who have been up for over 30 hours

at the hospital, overweight people, people who wear glasses, and people

with six grandchildren. Yes, that's a bit self-serving, but why should

pregnant women get all the best spaces? If I had my own space, I'd probably

never be rude at the supermarket again!

[David Epps

is rector of Christ the King Charismatic Episcopal Church, which meets

at 8 a.m. and 10 a.m. Sundays on Ga. Highway 34 between Peachtree City

and Newnan. He may be contacted at [email protected] or at www.CTKCEC.org.]