Mister Webster's

definition of a writer is "... one who writes." Cool, guess

that makes me a writer.

Writing a weekly

article for almost two years, one does learn a few things. The first and

most important thing is ya better know what you're talking about or someone

is gonna send you an e-mail to educate you on your mistake.

The second

thing you'll learn is not to say anything bad about Minisotanians; I'm

still getting e-mails about that article. The third thing you'll learn

is that if you have your picture in the paper next to your article people

will stop you everywhere and ask you questions.

When I'm stopped,

people seem to all ask the same question, "Aren't you that firefighter

that writes for the newspaper?" My answer to them is always the same:

"Depends if your from Minnesota or not."

The most frequent

questions asked I have listed below along with the best answer that I

can come up with. If you have any additional question, e-mail me or just

stop in my favorite BBQ place and ask. I'll be the one in the corner enjoying

sipping a tall glass of ice cold sweet tea from a large mouth Mason jar.

Question #1:

Are the stories you write always true?

Answer: Yes,

one thing you can be assured of is that anything you read in The Citizen

is true (shameless plug for the newspaper). It's those TV reporters you

have to watch out for.

Question #2:

Are the people and events in the stories real, or do you make them up?

Answer: Yes,

the people and places I write about are real. For 10 years while I was

growing we lived at 110 Flamingo Street. Our neighbor was Thomas, and

Down-The-Street Bully Brad was a bully named Brad that lived down the

street. Blabber-Mouth Betsy was a girl named Betsy that would blab any

secrets told her. Goofy Steve was a kid I knew in the third grade with

red hair, freckles, long arms, long legs and really skinny. We all liked

him but he sure was goofy. As far as Bubba Hanks, Ms. Newsome, Mister

Hood, Tattle-Tale-Tina, Older Brother Richard, Big Brother James, Twin

Brother Mark, The Sister and all the adventures and stuff we got into?

Well, I can't make this stuff up; I'm just not that good.

Question #3:

You call you wife "The Wife" and your son "The Boy."

Do they get offended by this?

Answer: No,

one who must be obeyed." As far as my son is concerned, he's just

The Boy. He doesn't like it when I refer to him as The Girl; I tried that

once, and he got mad.

Question #4:

Why don't you ever write about politics, religion, or sex? Answer: The

Mother-n-law Kay told me never to write about such things, and I do what

she says. Besides, even the politicians don't know how politics works;

I'm just a firefighter. How the heck am I supposed to know? Write about

religion? I don't think so. I'll leave that to Mr. Epps; he's doing a

fine job at it. Write about sex? Okay here goes ­ men and women.

There - I wrote about sex.

Question #5:

Ever thought about writing a book?

Answer: Yes,

been there, done that, and have figured out one thing. It's much easier

to write a book; you just need two years with nothing else to do, than

to get an agent and get one published. Anyone know any good book agents?

(A shameless plug for the no-agent-not-yet-published book)

Question #6:

Did Down-The-Street Bully Brad really ever catch you and beat you up?

Answer: Yes,

he did on a regular basis; well, except during the summer. During the

summer, my brothers and I would spend most days over at Neighbor Thomas',

and they had a pool. My swim buddy was Bubba Hanks, and Bubba was much

larger than Down-The-Street Bully Brad. During the summers Bubba Hanks

wasn't just my swim buddy. No, during the summers Bubba Hanks was also

my Down-The-Street Bully Brad repellant.

Last question:

If all the people you write about are kids you grew up with, then are

you going to introduce any new characters this summer?

Answer: Yes,

not only will new characters be introduced this summer, but look for new

ones for the rest of the year. Flamingo Street was a long street and many

families lived there. There are lots of kids I will be writing about,

like Know-it-All Paul and Teacher's Pet Pete, and don't even get me started

on the Crabtree's that lived in the dilapidated house at the end of Flamingo

Street. I could write an entire book about that crowd. But those are stories

for another time.

For now, the

kids are out of school, and so is my teacher The Wife. First order of

business is the annual family reunion down in Panama City Beach. A family

reunion now that sounds like the makings for a good story.

[Rick Ryckeley

is employed by the Fayette County Department of Fire and Emergency Services.

He can be reached at [email protected].]