Writing this

column is the only thing I have to do today, which is probably why I'm

having such a hard time doing it. I'm sure if I had a zillion different

things going on I would have had a great idea, stormed through the writing

process and moved on to my next task. Unfortunately, I've got nothing.

My current

condition could be related to the fact that it is Monday. Monday is a

bad day. Both Garfield and The Boomtown Rats can't be wrong, can they?

The word Monday

derived from the Anglo-Saxon/Germanic word for Moon, which makes sense

because the word Sunday comes from the word for Sun. Monday has been historically

known as a blue day. Before washing machines were invented, Monday was

a day to do the wash and people had to use blue dyes to keep their clothes

from yellowing. It is also a blue day because people get depressed thinking

about the number of days before their next break.

Monday has

also been known as an unlucky day as well as a day that people go insane.

This also ties in with the moon. The latin word for "moon" is

luna and an English word for crazy is "lunacy."

Well, I'm not

blue and I'm not crazy. I think I just have a case of spring fever.

Maybe it's

because I haven't really had a spring break. Granted, four years of college

plus an extra year of living in Athens equals about 27 spring breaks,

but it has been a while. Maybe I need to just take my shirt off (ladies,

please don't write in asking for pictures), lather up in some sunscreen,

tanning lotion and insect repellent (I call that mixture Piney Coconut

Paradise), fill an enormous plastic cup with some form of libation, blare

top-40 hip-hop pablum until I can't remember my own name and hoot and

holler for everyone to party like it's 1999. I'm sure my wife and neighbors

will love that idea. I think they need a spring break too.

That won't

happen, though. I know some readers out there were hoping it would. They'd

quit their day jobs, seek out my home and have an eternal spring break

party in my cul-de-sac. But no. I'm too busy and too dadgum responsible.

If you need proof, consider the fact that I just used the word "dadgum."

I'm almost

done with this column and there will be more stuff for me to do today.

There will be meetings to cover, rehearsals to attend (first plug: I'm

in "The Foreigner" at Southside Theatre Guild - Coming This

May), stories to write and sleep to catch up on as I have to cover Music

Midtown this weekend.

In conclusion,

we learned a little about the history of the word Monday and determined

that while we all could probably use some spring break, it doesn't appear

likely that we will just go hog-wild whenever we feel like it. However,

if you head out to Music Midtown this weekend, you may catch the enchanting

aroma of Piney Coconut Paradise.

Back

to the Top of the Page