Men and women are different;

that is a given. Yet the male species has an excuse. There are simply

diseases particular to men, illnesses that are inherent to the masculine

sex. So, if you know a man who seems to be suffering from some strange

affliction, take it easy on him. He could be stricken. For who knows the

number of diseases that reside in the male DNA?

One of the most known and least

treatable male illnesses is resistassistance . Many women know this

affliction because they become frustrated and upset when riding in a car

with a man. Seemingly for hours, he will drive around lost, without asking

for help.

This is not just the problem

of an obstinate, stubborn guy. The problem lies way down in the makeup

of his molecular structure. Evidence has been found that in most males,

the proton that orbits the nucleus in his atoms has completely lost its

direction, swinging wildly out of control. The proton just does not seem

to want to follow the road map of the human body (DNA).

Sissaphobia is another

disease that intermittently strikes the race of men. This illness displays

itself through many symptoms. Sweaty palms, shivering nervously and dryness

of the mouth accompany this terrible sickness. Doctors and scientists

when tracing the origin of this disease find that it usually starts shortly

after the male has first made a formal commitment to a female; about the

same time she starts asking him to carry or fetch her purse in public

places. A more serious form of this illness ( mortifidetosis ) can

appear years later, after marriage, when the male is asked to go to the

market to purchase female personal hygiene products.

Male sleeping sickness

is common among many adult men. The culprit is not the African chi chi

fly or the South American falcon mosquito. This dreaded disease would

seem to come from a rare, exotic carrier. But no, the offender is found

in almost every home in America. His name is Lazee-Boyus-Reclyne-us. Once

this species has attached itself to its host victim, the male is powerless

and rendered immobile. His comatose state sometimes lasts for hours.

A stifling disease that strikes

many married men is ODS (Opinion Deficiency Syndrome) . A seemingly

normal man is rendered illiterate by one simple phenomenon. When his wife

asks, "How do I look?" he responds with no real opinion. Stammering

and stuttering are symptoms for this sickness but there are many worse

side effects. After hesitating and then wording many inarticulate statements

like, "You look fine," or, "Great, honey, now let's go,"

the man finds himself entrenched in this painful and uncomfortable infirmity.

ODS is not terminal but the effects can linger through times of

silence, glaring looks, misbleached clothes, and burned dinners. Sometimes

the aftermath of the disease can seem worse than death.

The Center for Disease Control

in Atlanta and the National Institute for Health in Maryland offer no

remedy for any of these infirmities. There are no prescriptions or elixirs

either. Yet, there does seem to be a counteragent for these predicaments.

Florence Nightingale practiced it throughout her tenure as the crown princess

of nursing, and that is patience.

[Visit Billy Murphy on the

Internet at www.ebilly.net.]