Well, guys,

it's here. Another date on the wall calendar that you better not forget

is once again glaring down at us.

To some, living

in a peaceful happy relationship is a lot of work and might be beyond

their capability. I, on the other hand, have found it to be quite easy;

all one needs to do is to remember but a few simple tips. That is, if

you want to be one of the ones that live in a peaceful, happy relationship.

Relationship

tip number one: Guys, remember that no date is as important as today,

Valentine's Day. Well, that is, until the next important date comes up

you're not supposed to forget.

Relationship

tip number two: Time is a valuable resource which shouldn't be wasted.

Do you really have the time to look for that all-important gift to make

your lady feel special? No! Most of your time is occupied looking for

important stuff like the TV remote, that last adult beverage in the refrigerator

you hid from the Super Bowl party crowd and, of course, your car keys.

You don't have the time to look for a Valentine's Day gift. Relax, that's

what I'm here for.

Relationship

tip number three: There are many traps and hazards that one should avoid

when shopping for that perfect gift, many pitfalls on the road to a happy

relationship. How do you avoid all the traps, hazards, and pit falls if

you don't see them coming? Read on, dear reader, and feel confident that

to do battle for your loved one in the stores.

Relationship

tip number four: Be different, stay away from the traditional stuff like

a dozen red roses. Why give flowers that last maybe a week to someone

as a sign of your everlasting love? You have a love that's supposed to

last forever, remember? Give her something that's gonna last forever ­

no, not diamonds.

Relationship

tip number five: Diamonds are forever, it's true, but so are the payments

when you finance them. She will not be happy if you're stressed out working

two jobs just to pay for them. Besides, my experience is that no matter

how big of a diamond you buy, it ain't big enough.

Relationship

tip number six: Whatever you do, don't give her candy! You want to give

a gift that keeps on giving, but this is not the one. How can a two-pound

box of candy make someone gain ten pounds?

Relationship

tip number seven: You too can bring home a great Valentine's Day gift

for that someone special in your life. The gift you buy needs to be durable

and last many years. It needs to be a gift that she can use all the time,

and it's just waiting at a home improvement store near you ­ a three-speed-diesel

powered-bagless-hepafilter-vacuum cleaner with bonus mini vac attachments.

Yes, you will

be amazed at the reaction on her face when you walk through the door with

this baby! I sure was. I guarantee she will be thinking about you every

time she cleans the house. With its new clear polymer shell and large

capacity hopper, she can easily see all of the junk you've left lying

around from the Super Bowl party as it get sucked up by the five-horse

power motor. You'd be surprised too how quickly she can find those lost

car keys for ya.

The Wife still

talks about me when she uses her three-speed-diesel powered-bagless-hepafilter-vacuum

cleaner with bonus mini vac attachments that I gave her for Valentines

Day last year. I can't hear exactly what she is saying over the noise,

but I just know it's something nice.

Today is Feb.

14 and boy, do I have the gift suggestion for you! Yes, I'll pull

your bacon out of the fire even if you do really go out and buy her the

diesel vacuum cleaner by letting you in on the perfect gift to give your

loved one. One size fits all, but it's always in short supply.

Some people

try to stretch it, others waste it, still others try to steel it, but

everybody wants more of it, and no matter how much you give to her, she

never seems to have enough. Give up? Well just read on.

She doesn't

really want a dozen red roses; she doesn't really want the two-pound box

of candy; she doesn't really want the vacuum cleaner or diamonds. (Well,

if you got her the diamonds, it wouldn't hurt anything.) Nope. There's

only one thing your sweetie wants from you this Valentine's Day, and it

won't cost you a dime.

All she really

wants is time with you. Time is indeed the best thing you can spend on

someone you love. Go out to dinner tonight or go away for a long weekend

without the kids. That's what we're doing.

"I love

you" is forever and timeless. People don't fall in love so they can

spend time apart.

[Rick Ryckeley

is employed by the Fayette County Department of Fire and Emergency Services.

He can be reached at [email protected].]