Last weekend

The Wife and I were invited out to dinner by one of my closest friends.

Now I know it will come as a surprise to some of you that I have a friend,

much less close ones who don't mind being seen out in public with me,

but don't worry. I think they really just wanting to spend time with The

Wife.

In getting

ready for the evening, it was very apparent that it's much easer for men

to get ready for a night on the town than women. The Wife told me to call

our friends and ask whether the dress was casual, semi-formal, or formal.

I told her that it didn't matter; I wasn't gonna wear a dress no matter

what they said. She just handed me the phone and told me to start dialing;

this was at ten in the morning.

The Wife was at the haircutters getting a new hair style for the evening.

What little hair I have left looked just fine so I stayed home and cleaned

the house to help out, me being the wonderful husband that I am. I'm only

allowed to clean bathrooms, dust, and vacuum now. After the incident that

caused everyone to end up with pink underwear, The Wife won't let me do

laundry anymore.

she phoned and said she was going to buy shoes so she would have new ones

for dinner. I told her we were gonna eat at the new Japanese-American-

sushi place, but I don't think shoes are on the menu. About that time,

her cell phone went dead. It's been doing that a lot lately.

At two o'clock

I called my friend and asked what time we needed to be at the restaurant.

He said, "I have to call you back when my wife gets home, she made

the reservations. She just ran out of the house saying, 'I'm so desperately

passed due for a hair cut.' These are words that no guy has ever said."

I agreed with him that no real man would say such a thing. Then I hung

up the phone and went