I have been

wanting to write this article for some time. It just might fly in the

face of all who have ever paid for an expensive wedding or into the face

of those planning one.

My intent here

is not to harm but to help. Hopefully it will liberate you and bring some

semblance of common sense and order to some senseless ideas we have about

this one-time event.

One of the

funniest and best movies I have seen in a long time is "My Big Fat

Greek Wedding." As I have stated before, I go on a weekly Friday

night date with my wife. We go to the $1 movie in Fayetteville with the

$7 popcorn. I must be doing something right because Feb. 14 we celebrated

our 27th year anniversary. Anyone know of a $1 movie and $1 popcorn?

Now I realize,

as seen in this great movie, that weddings are wonderful cultural and

family events. No one in America loves family and these events more than

I. I further certainly realize and promote this spiritual event in the

lives of two individuals who are pledging before God, a congregation,

and a host of friends and family, to spend their lives together. After

having said and believing all that, I do also strongly feel that this

event has gotten totally out of hand and often can and does cripple a

family financially for a long time to come.

The finest

minister, father, and lover of people I have ever known was my father.

He had been a minister as long as I knew him. He possessed a lot of wisdom

and would say things that, at the time, seemed disconnected or irrelevant.

One of those statements was, "Son, the larger the wedding, the quicker

they come apart."

The first time

I heard him say this I thought to myself, "Why would someone make

such a crass, and unkind statement?" After being a minister for over

30 years, I came to realize he was right.

I wonder how

many fathers and mothers out there would be shaking their heads in agreement

on that statement. Many middle income Americans are crippling themselves

financially for a two-hour show and $7 worth of photos. No wedding in

America should be over $500. and no funeral should either, but that is

another article.

I hear weekly

how working people plunk out untold thousands of dollars to insure their

daughter has the "very best wedding possible." Sadly, Dad's

statement is often brought home to roost.

I have a proposal

that makes a lot of sense to me and worked at my own wedding. Dee and

I came from very generous families and I'm sure that had we attempted

to "hook their guilt," we could have had an expensive, showy

two-hour wedding. Dee and I chose not to do something that foolish. Instead,

we got with people in our church who seriously loved us and wanted to

be a part of the wedding. The women all got together and brought their

very best desert and food dishes as a love offering to us. I had another

friend who did photography on the side who offered pictures as his gift

to us. Dee had her sister's beautiful wedding dress with a newly purchased

veil to match.

I was in the

ROTC program at Georgia State University and all my Pershing Rifle fraternity

brothers were there with the historical "saber arch." It was,

in my opinion, a beautiful wedding with a lot of personal involvement

from those who loved us and wanted to contribute. The reception was in

my mother's home with more love and more personal involvement. It was

a little crowded but with the moving of some furniture around and setting

up some tables, it all worked out fine.

I was the student

pastor of a beautiful little country church, Alvaton First Baptist in

Meriwether County. To further show this "love involvement" theme,

the church ladies all got together and hand made Dee and me a quilt with

the "wedding ring" motif. We still have that quilt on our bed

at home. If my memory doesn't fail me, the whole wedding was around $500.

I realize times

are different and thing cost more but if anything is done creatively and

well, it must start with our thinking and the planning phase. Throw away

all those wedding magazines and use one of the greatest gifts God has

given you your head.

Covered dish

weddings forever! Believe me, after the confetti and rice are swept up

and your Visa and Master card bill comes in, you'll be glad you did. Love,

your pastor.

The Rev.

Dr. Knox Herndon is pastor of His House Community Church (SBC). The Rev.

Greg Mausz is senior associate pastor. The Rev. Dr. Lydia Herndon is the

Sunday School superintendent, Bible study coordinator and teacher. The

church is just below Fayetteville, on Ga. Highway 85, a mile south of

Ga. Highway 16, just below the fire station. Visitors welcome. Church

office and prayer line 770-719-2365; e-mail [email protected]. The church's

new Web site is www.hishousecommunitychurch.com.

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