A wife returned home from work

and found her husband sitting in his favorite chair devouring the local

newspaper. After rummaging around in the kitchen for awhile, she said,

"Honey, I read today that men speak 2000 words a day and women 4000

words each day."

In a low growl he muttered,

"Uh-huh, I wonder why that is?" He continued to be preoccupied

with the paper.

After a pause, she said, "I

guess it's due to the fact that women have to repeat everything twice

to their husbands." Ouch! Husbands aren't always the best listeners,

and communication in marriage is often a challenge.

We husbands and wives need

all the help we can get, don't we? So, just in time for our valentine's

celebration, here's a helpful guide to understanding a wife's vocabulary

that arrived via some anonymous email source. What did we ever do before

junk email? Here are some key words wives use and their hidden

meanings:

Fine: This word does

not refer to the way you think she looks. The wife may use this word at

the end of any argument that the wife feels she is right about but needs

to cease discussion.

Five Minutes: This

is really half an hour. This is how long it will be before she is ready

to leave. It is equivalent to the five minutes that the husband's football

or basketball game is going to last before he takes out the trash.

Nothing: Usually means

something is wrong, but you'll never find out because you're supposed

to be a mind reader. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument

that may last "five minutes" and may end with the word "fine."

Go Ahead (with raised eyebrows):

This is a dare, one that will result with wife getting upset over

"nothing."

Go Ahead (with normal eyebrows):

This means "I give up" or "do what you want to do because

I really don't care and you're probably going to do it anyway."

Oh: This word followed

That's Okay: This is

one of the most dangerous statements that woman can say to a man. "That's

Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you

retributions for whatever that you have done. "That's okay"

is often used with the word "Fine" and used in conjunction with

a raised eyebrow "go ahead."

Please do: The wife

is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you

have for doing whatever it is that you have done. This is your opportunity

to tell the plain, honest truth.

Thanks: A woman is

thanking you. Do not faint, just say "you're welcome." This

usually comes when you are dating, and occasionally after you're married.

Thanks a lot: This

expression is a lot different from "thanks." A wife will say

"thanks a lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It means

you have hurt her in some way. When you ask her "what's wrong?"

She'll always respond "nothing!"

Happy Valentine's Day:

Take it at face value. It may really mean "happy Valentine's

Day."

Words are important. How we

use words are important, also. Here are some other words that are important

to use pretty often, especially between husbands and wives:

*The five most important words

are "I am proud of you."

*The four most important words

are "What is your opinion?"

*The three most important

words are "I appreciate that."

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