During a flight between New

York and Chicago the captain announced, "Our number four engine has

just been shut off because of mechanical trouble. There is nothing to

worry about, however. We can still finish the flight with just three engines.

Besides, you will be reassured to know that we have four pastors on board."

One passenger called the flight

attendant and said, "Would you please tell the captain that I would

rather have four engines and three pastors on board."

Most pastors I know enjoy a

good laugh, even if it's at their own expense. They better know how to

laugh at themselves because most of us at one time or another are the

objects of good natured ribbing. Or sometimes it's not necessarily good-natured.

One guest preacher was standing

at the back door with the host pastor greeting the worshippers as they

exited the sanctuary. One woman grabbed his hand, looked him in the eye

and said, "that was a sorry sermon."

The pastor was somewhat shaken

she came through a second time, shook his hand and this time said, "a

sorry sermon and an even poorer delivery." And she walked on.

Several moments later, she

came back through a third time, grabbed the guest's hand and said, "a

sorry sermon and you didn't preach it well, and I hope you never come

back."

Finally, the guest turned to

his host and asked, "what in the world is up with this woman?"

The host pastor said, "Don't

pay attention to her. She's not very bright. She just goes around repeating

what she hears everybody else saying."

Sometimes it's hard to find

appreciation. A minister found a fifty-cent item at the dollar store but

discovered he'd left his wallet at home. "I could invite you to hear

me preach in return," he said jokingly to the clerk, "but I'm

afraid I don't have fifty-cent sermons."

"Perhaps," said the

clerk, "I could come twice."

Even the kids sometimes get

in on the act. One Sunday, a lady happened to sit in front of the pastor's

wife and two kids. When the pastor stepped into the pulpit, the seven-year-old

leaned over to his mother and asked to go down to the nursery.

The mother replied, "You're

must too old to be in the nursery."

"But Mom," came the

protest, "I heard Dad practice it last night and it's a long one."

In a children's Sunday School

class, the teacher was sharing a lesson on worship manners. She asked,

"why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"

One child replied, "because

people are sleeping!"

While some were sleeping, small

children were fidgety. One mother came through the line one Sunday and

told the pastor how she kept her active six-year-old still and quiet.

About halfway through the sermon, she leaned over and whispered, "If

you don't be quiet, the pastor is going to lose his place and will have

to start his sermon over again!" It worked!

We pastors have to laugh at

such honesty. This kind of stuff comes with the territory. Just in case

we forget who we are, retired preacher Jim Griffith shares how you can

know you might be a preacher. You might be a preacher if . . .

*You've spoken for free and

your audience was sure you were worth every penny of it.

*You claim to be leading the

church into the 21st century, but you don't know what you're preaching

on next Sunday.

*You've dreamed that you're

preaching, only to wake up and discover that you were.

*You thank the Lord every day

for caller ID.

*You get your second wind when

you say, "And in conclusion . . ."

*You know your greatest joys

in life have been in church with church people, and you're thankful for

every one.

(Dr. David L. Chancey is pastor,

McDonough Road Baptist Church, Fayetteville, Georgia. The church family

meets at 352 McDonough Road and invites you to join them this Sunday at

9:45 a.m. for Bible study and worship at 10:55 a.m.).

Back

to News Home Page |