Today we have

cameras that can take pictures without using film, cell phones that can

send pictures to other cell phones and computers that can print those

pictures at your house. But even as wonderful as these inventions of today

are, some things are more important to have than others.

You may have

a big house on the golf course, a Mercedes in the garage, a satellite

dish and a 60-inch plasma television. But I have something much more important

than any of those things, something that is so indispensable in this day

and age that I don't think I could live without - I have my very own computer

guy.

Just who is

My Computer Guy, you might ask? You don't think me a fool, do you? My

Computer Guy will remain nameless. He's mine, and you can't have him.

Besides, if you knew who he was, he would be out there fixing your computers,

then who will be here to fix mine?

The Boy has

educated me a lot about the inner workings of computers lately. Did you

know that a downloaded virus will eat your entire computer system and

all the valuable data files stored on it - whether you've backed them

up or not?

I asked The

Boy, "If we cut off the computer, will the virus go away?"

The Boy answered,

"It will eventually stop - when there's no more data to destroy.

That's when your new computer turns into a $1,000 paperweight."

This is not

exactly what I wanted to hear. A little hint to the "not so savvy"

computer people out there (like me): When you push the little white power

button on the box marked "computer" and it just makes a whirling,

grinding sound as the screen blips on and off - well, now, that's a bad

thing. If you still haven't figured out the TV/VCR/DVD remote, if you

didn't take computerese as a second language in high school, or if you

don't know the difference between a megabyte and a mosquito bite, then

you too might need a computer guy in your life.

The night The

Boy downloaded a virus; our computer died an agonizing death. No amount

of button pushing, poking, cussing or praying had any effect on the blinking

computer screen. Nothing seemed to work; that's when I made the call.

That's when I called My Computer Guy.

Late Saturday

night My Computer Guy answers our frantic call for help, "The computer's

got a virus and all my files are gone!" He dashes to the hall closet,

throws open the door and dons his white lab coat and trusty electronic

utility tool belt. He goes through the checklist to see that all his tools

are in order - making sure not to forget the most important one of all:

the wire-cutting-monkey-grabbing-plier-thingies. He hugs the kids, kisses

the wife goodbye, and jumps into his red and white electronics van. In

a cloud of dust he's off, leaving his warm house and loving family behind

as he ventures out into the darkness of night to answer my call for help.

Within minutes, he's speeding towards our house and the virus stricken

$1,000 paperweight - of course, always following the posted speed limits

along the way.

Upon arrival

he went to work, unplugging all the cords and taking the back off the

computer. Right away he said he knew what the problem was; he had seen

it many times before: a downloaded virus had eaten our mother board. I

asked him if that was bad; he just looked at me and smiled.

I asked, "How

can I prevent this from ever happening again?"

He answered,

"Get rid of the teenager." My Computer Guy is very smart; he

has three teenagers.

I told him,

"If it's all the same to you, I'll keep my teenager a while longer,

but I rather not keep the virus. Is there anything you can do?" He

said it would be no problem to fix the computer and pulled out his wire-cutting-monkey-grabbing-plier-thingies

from his electronic utility tool belt and went