1. You have

to believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.

2. You have

to believe that the same teacher who can't teach fourth-graders how to

read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

3. You have

to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of

a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese

communists.

4. You have

to believe that there was no art before federal funding.

5. You have

to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical, documented

changes in the earth's climate, and more affected by yuppies driving SUVs.

6. You have

to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.

7. You have

to be against capital punishment but support abortion on demand.

8. You have

to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.

9. You have

to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists who've

never been outside of Seattle do.

10. You have

to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something

to earn it.

11. You have

to believe the military, not corrupt politicians, start wars.

12. You have

to believe the NRA is bad, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution,

while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.

13. You have

to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.

14. You have

to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinen are more important

to American history than Thomas Jefferson, General Robert E. Lee or Thomas

Edison.

15. You have

to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides

aren't.

16. You have

to believe Hillary Clinton is really a lady.

17. You have

to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's

been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.

18. You have

to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar

and sex offender belongs in the White House.

19. You have

to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites and

bestiality should be constitutionally protected and manger scenes at Christmas

should be illegal.

20. You have

to believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the Chinese is somehow

in the best interest of the United States.

21. You have

to believe that this letter is part of a vast right-wing conspiracy.

The Rev.

Dr. Knox Herndon is pastor of His House Community Church (SBC). The Rev.

Greg Mausz is senior associate pastor. The Rev. Dr. Lydia Herndon is the

Sunday School superintendent, Bible study coordinator and teacher. The

church is just below Fayetteville, on Ga. Highway 85, a mile south of

Ga. Highway 16, just below the fire station. Visitors welcome. Church

office and prayer line 770-719-2365; e-mail [email protected]. The church's

new Web site is www.hishousecommunitychurch.com.

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