As Thanksgiving approaches,

many of us take part in the familial tradition of "visiting."

Visiting, as I see it, is sitting around with people you have known longer

than anyone in your life, but you have the least in common with. Maybe

this isn't really true, but just feels that way when you travel vast distances,

see each other so infrequently, then wind up talking about Aunt Myrtle's

goiter problems.

One great tradition during

the holiday season for families (in addition to me sitting at a card table

during turkey dinner with three 11-year-olds) is watching Christmas movies

together. Not that you even need to plan on a movie and rent it, but that

during the long, dead hours together a family needs something to stare

at as they sit there in silence.

There are really only two classic

movies to recommend for such occasions and they are all about family.

The first is "It's a Wonderful Life." The second is "A

Christmas Story." "It's a Wonderful Life" is about what

can happen for a family that struggles together and loves through it all.

"A Christmas Story" is what really happens.

"It's a Wonderful Life"

holds a special place in my heart as it is the first movie I ever cried

while watching. I must've been only 9 and I just remember being confused

as to why my eyes were tearing up without getting spanked. The closest

you could get to tears watching "A Christmas Story" is watching

it while peeling onions and having dental surgery.

"It's a Wonderful Life"

and "A Christmas Story" are opposites in almost every way. In

"It's a Wonderful Life" George Bailey is the eternal pessimist,

yet the movie is infinitely hopeful. In "A Christmas Story,"

Ralph "Ralphie" Parker is the eternal optimist yet the movie

is hilariously cruel.

Both guys are bullied, but

Ralphie reacts by pummeling his antagonist and assaulting him with obscenities

that would make Madonna blush. George Bailey cowers until the eleventh

hour. George is helped along by a fallen angel seeking his wings. Ralphie

is discouraged by a disoriented Santa Claus and a witch-like teacher.

"A Christmas Story" has not the hope of tinkling, heavenly bells.

"It's a Wonderful Life" has no frozen flagpole.

The movies are a lot alike

though, too. Both George and Ralphie have seemingly retarded brothers

(using the un-PC word retarded, as "mentally challenged" had

not been in invented in 1946 nor 1983, when the movies were released).

The true emotions and heart of each movie come through in the women. George

Bailey's wife is long-suffering, caring and endlessly romantic. Ralphie's

mom is patient, firm and forever merciful in smashing his dad's Italian

Leg Lamp ("It's from Fra-gil-e!")

Nevertheless, families can

be comforted in watching either movie, or better still, both. Because,

even if we do live in a world where we have Chinese food for holiday dinners

and a dad so cheap he will barter over a Christmas tree, we can all still

dream of friends and family that like us and love us no matter how self-centered

and grumpy we are.

[Visit Billy Murphy on the

Internet at https://ebilly.net.]