All over the

community, churches have posted signs saying, "We love you Pastor

Bob and Sharon," or "We appreciate the Reverend Ortiz family."

What all this is about is that someone, somewhere, proclaimed October

as "Clergy Appreciation Month."

So, some churches,

certainly not all, are appreciating their clergy. It's not a bad idea,

really. Everybody else has a special day, or a special week, or a special

month. Why not clergy?

When I served

as a pastor in another denomination, there was "Pastor Appreciation

Day." The denominational officials would send letters to members

of the Official Board informing them that on such and such a day the denomination

would observe this day of honor. It was supposed to be a surprise but

every pastor in the denomination knew about the letters and the special

day, so there was no surprise. Unless, of course, the Official Board ignored

the letters and chose to ignore "Pastor Appreciation Day." Kinda

sent a message, don't ya think?

As far as I

can recall, the churches that I served through those years all observed

"Pastor Appreciation Day." In some of those churches, if you

were an associate pastor you were out of luck because, after all, it was

Pastor Appreciation Day, not Associate Pastor Appreciation Day. Associate

pastors were often just considered "ministers in training" or

"assistants to the real pastor" and were easily ignored. That

attitude bred competition and resentment, which made the lowly associates,

who actually did the bulk of the work, feel very unappreciated. But if

you wanted to be appreciated on Pastor Appreciation Day, so went the conventional

wisdom, go pastor a church.

The gifts that

I received on that special day were varied. My favorite was a Canon AE-1

camera that launched a thousand or so news releases and brought joy for

years to come. I received a plaque or two and several gift certificates

to restaurants (one which went out of business before I could use it which

left me holding a worthless voucher). Cash or a check was always nice

since many pastors make less that the average salaries of the members

of their congregations. Once, I was given a gift of a trip for two to

the Holy Land. The only problem was that after the presentation of the

gift (which wasn't an actual voucher but just the promise of a trip) the

Middle East heated up and the proposed trip, which had not yet been paid

for, was canceled. So actually what I got that year was nothing. But,

it's the thought that counts.

Someone asked

me recently, "What would make you feel appreciated as a pastor?"

(Or "rector," as we call such people in my denomination. Incidentally,

the word "rector" comes from a root word that means "ruler,"

as in "the ruler of the house" or the spiritual father of the

family." Betcha the Baptists never let their pastors adopt that title.

Oh, don't be so touchy, you know it's true.)

Anyway, after

a bit of thought and over 30 years of ministry, here's my "How I

Know That I Am Appreciated and if You Do These Things You Don't Have to

Have a Special Day or Give Me a Gift" list. I don't know what other

pastors might suggest but here goes:

1) Show up

for church every Sunday that you are not working or on vacation or terminally

ill. If you are terminally ill, call the pastor and ask him to come see

you and pray for you.

2) Show up

for church on time. Better, arrive five minutes early. Every Sunday. It's

embarrassing when visitors see church members straggle in like wandering

sheep.

3) Don't say,

"I'll pray about it," when you are asked to do something. The

pastor has already prayed and he feels that God wants you to do this or

he wouldn't have asked you. Besides, every pastor knows that "I'll

pray about it" really means "No way in heck!"

4) Tithe. Give

extra offerings. Give to the poor. My favorite bumper sticker is "If

you love Jesus, tithe. Any fool can honk!" To "tithe" means

to give 10 percent of your income to the church , not to charities.

5) Hang around

and help clean up after the services. Someone has to stay. Often, it's

the pastor.

6) The pastor

is not perfect. Quit acting surprised and shocked when he proves it.

7) Pray for

him. Pray for his wife. Pray especially for his children. Every day.

8) Be honest

and forthright with him, but don't be a jackass. Express your opinion,

but be respectful, especially in a group, and realize that he does this

for a living 24/7 and that you really don't have a clue as to what he

does. He is more concerned about the success of the church than you are.

I guarantee it.

9) When the

baby cries, take the little darling to the foyer or the cry room. Quickly,

please.

10) Say to

the pastor, "If there anything I can do for you? Is there anything

you need?" If he survives the shock, he may kiss you.

On short notice,

there's my Top Ten List. There's still a few days left in October, so,

go appreciate your pastor and, please, don't forget the associates.

[Father David

Epps is rector of Christ the King Charismatic Episcopal Church in the

Coweta/Fayette County area of south metro Atlanta. He may be contacted

at [email protected] or at www.ctkcec.org.]