My dad was

the king of old-time sayings, or colloquialisms; seems like he had a new

one every week. He understood what he was talking about, but to us boys

they didn't make much sense.

Take, for instance,

the one he said every time there was a bright red sunset: "Red sky

at night, sailor's delight. Red sky in the morn, sailor be warned."

What the heck does that mean? Will someone please tell me? To this day

I don't have a clue. Dad came up for a visit last week, and he's still

not saying. He just looked at me, smiled and said, "Son, if ya don't

know by now, shame on ya."

As far back

as I can remember, Dad had an old man working for hiim called Mr. Sims.

When I was nine, I asked my dad how old Mr. Sims was. He said, "As

old as the hills." I went back and told my brothers that Dad just

said Mr. Sims was as old as dirt!

Every day Mr.

Sims worked in the hot sun and never took a break. Come Friday, Dad would

pay him, and Mr. Sims would always say the same thing: "If the Lord

be willing and the creek don't rise, I'll see y'all Monday." As he

walked off, I thought, "He must really be worried about rain washing

out that bridge over the creek down by his house."

Years later,

I found out what Mr. Sims was really saying in Mr. Hood's high school

history class, no less. The "lord be willing" Mr. Sims was talking

about were the lords that came over from England back in the 1700s. The

rest of the saying, " ... if the creek don't rise," had nothing

to do with water after all. The "creek" Mr. Sims was referring

to was the Creek Indians. "If the Creek Indians don't rise up, I'll

see ya in the morning." See, Mr. Hood, I did learn something in your

class after all; that B was well-deserved.

Thinking back,

I learned a lot in high school, and I got good grades. Even in elementary

school, I got good grades. Well, there was that one time in third grade

I received a less-than-stellar grade on a math test. But, of course, it

was one I didn't study for.

The night before,

Mom asked us if we had any homework or tests coming up. It was the night

the Green Hornet was on TV, and I wanted to see Bruce Lee, so I said no.

The next day we had a math test, and I didn't do so well on it. My teacher

sent a note home with me to give to my parents notifying them of the grade.

Mom or Dad had to sign the note, and I had to return it to school the

next day.

When I walked

in the kitchen, Mom was busy cooking dinner, and I asked her where Dad

was. She told me that he was very tired and not to bother him. She also

told me that she was busy and I should go play with my brothers. So with

that, I did what any thoughtful son would do. I didn't bother Dad, I stayed

out of Mom's way and signed the note myself.

The next morning,

I gave the note