Someone obviously

has too much time on

his hands. My son was bored and was browsing the Internet. He called me

downstairs and showed me a website developed especially for bored people.

The site has a link entitled "crazy thoughts" that were really

pretty creative and made you stop and think. I guess inquisitive minds

want to know. Can you answer these questions?

*If your plan

is to have no plan, do you have a plan?

*What do you

say when someone says you're in denial, but you're not?

*Do pigs pull

hamstrings?

*If the Energizer

Bunny attacks someone, is it charged with battery?

*If the folks

at the psychic hotlines were really psychic, wouldn't they call you first?

*If a chronic

liar tells you he is a chronic liar, do you believe him?

*How much deeper

would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it?

*If the #2

pencil is the most popular pencil, why is it still #2?

*How do they

get the deer to cross the road at those yellow warning signs?

*How does the

guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the morning?

*If a parsley

farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

*Can a person

get addicted to counseling? If so, how do you treat him?

*Why are the

obituaries found in the "living" section of the newspaper?

*Have ex-cowboys

become deranged?

*Have ex-drycleaners

become depressed?

*If you decide

you're indecisive, which are you?

*If you tell

someone they are being judgemental, are you being judgemental?

*How did the

headless horseman know where he was going?

*What is a

male ladybug called?

*Why can't

women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

*Why do women

put on make-up when they are driving 70 mph on the downtown connector?

*Why do they

call them goose bumps? Do geese get people bumps?

*What do you

call the opposite of opposite?

*If you try

to fail and succeed, did you succeed or fail?

*Why do people

never say "it's only a game" when they're winning?

*Why do hotdogs

come in packs of eight when buns come in packs of ten?

*Why is a person

who handles your money called a "broker?"

*If a man is

talking in the forest and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still

wrong?

*How can you

hear yourself think?

Like I said,

someone has too much time on his hands. However, these thought-provoking

questions provoked some questions of my own. For instance,

*Whatever happened

to "you're welcome?" Is it just me, or have you noticed that

when you say "thank you" at the grocery store or at the restaurant,

the cashier doesn't say, "you're welcome." They often come back

with "no problem."

Maybe I'm being

too sensitive, but is it possible that my giving them business may have

been a problem? Or, does "no problem" mean the cashier was possibly

the least bit inconvenienced by giving me customer service? Is "no

problem" the trendy, new "you're welcome?" Where did that

expression start, anyway?

*Why have teenage

girls' shirts shrunk? Do they have to walk around with their midriff showing?

*Why do big

discount stores install so many check-out registers, but only have a few

registers opened at any given time?

*Why does the

shortest line always take the longest time? Why do I always choose to

get in line behind the customer who stalls the line?

*Why do people

get noses and tongues pierced? And eyebrows and navels?

*Why do people

stop at green lights?

*If you're

occupying your time with browsing a boring website, are you still bored?

*Who thinks

these questions up, anyway?

(Dr. David

L. Chancey is pastor, McDonough Road Baptist Church, 352 McDonough Road,

Fayetteville, Georgia. Join them this Sunday for Bible study at 9:45 a.m.

and worship at 10:55 a.m.).

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