On Sept. 11, I was traveling

and came across a very interesting headline in "USA Today."

It was their 9-11 issue and it said flatly: "How sports brought us

together."

I almost spewed my 2-percent

low-fat chocolate milk from my nose. It could have been an embarrassing

moment had not the Atlanta airport been a ghost town due to virtually

every man, woman and child being glued to their TV set for the anniversary

day special broadcasts.

I know it was pretty much "the

law" that every media had to make some sort of tie-in on the anniversary

of our nation's tragedy, but to give the world of sports any credit for

improving our quality of life is ridiculous. Sports are like the bright

shiny snowmobile that once was exhilarating but now, when wrecked, has

you pinned under it while the polar bears are fighting over your carcass.

In high school and college

I played football, baseball, basketball and tennis. In that, sports had

a benefit for my health and self-discipline. But "sports" as

we recognize it today is just the sedentary viewership of athletes who

are overpaid, oversexed, over-egoed and over-indicted. To say that our

nation has benefited from sports is like saying Ozzie Ozbourne has benefited

from the world of pharmaceutical science.

When noting the causes for

the decline and fall of the Roman Empire, in his book by the same name,

Edward Gibbons states two main causes: The breakdown of the family and

the overemphasis of sports. Hmmm, sound familiar?

To look at the sports page

today, it reads like the chalkboard in an old episode of "Hill Street

Blues": Rape, weapons charges, murder, drugs, drunken driving. The

list goes on.

I am sure the repeated rape

and assault charges at the University of Georgia have really brought that

campus together; the same with University of West Georgia.

The NBA must feel like a close-knit

clan as Chris Webber was charged with lying to a grand jury, Allen Iverson

was charged with four felonies involving weapons and assault, Glenn Robinson

was charged with a weapons violation and Stephon Marbury was sentenced

to jail time for drunk driving. The manslaughter trial of former player

Jayson Williams starts soon. Remind me to wear my Kevlar vest to that

family reunion.

And how about men and women?

Sports has really brought the two genders closer. Except of course at

Augusta National where the women are banned. And if you think that is

just some old world situation, when I was in Phoenix, there was a big

fighting going on about Arizona's first men-only golf club scheduled to

open in November. Don't people know that this kinda of mental energy should

be reserved for debates on "The Sopranos"?

Oh boy, sports sure has brought

us all together. I guess we can count our blessings, too, that local sports

programs have created a community where parents of all races, creeds and

economic backgrounds can come together to verbally abuse and fist-fight

each other on an equal playing field. And I won't even mention the all-consuming

schedules of kids' sport schedules that reduces parents to nothing more

than limo services and snack providers.

So that's why pro stars always

want to ride in limousines and have snack trays in their hotels: To make

them feel at home!

"How sports brought us

together." I feel all warm and fuzzy inside.