My wife and

I just returned from two weeks in Australia where, for the first few days,

she presented research at an international symposium in Brisbane. Cindy,

the bright one of the couple, has a Ph.D. in nursing and is an associate

professor in the nursing department at the State University of West Georgia.

So, off she went to share concepts of which I have little understanding.

My role was to act as her escort, bodyguard, and credit card carrier.

Australia is

a long way away from Atlanta, Georgia. I mean, it is a loooooong way off.

The flight to Los Angeles took about 4 1/2 hours (not including a two-hour

layover in Dallas) and, after a six-hour layover, we were in the air for

an additional 14 hours.

Then, after

landing in Sydney, and another layover, we took a 2 1/2-hour flight to

Brisbane. From the time we left our house, it was about 39 hours before

we walked into our room at the Brisbane Sheraton.

Once in Australia,

we visited Brisbane, Cairns, and Sydney before heading home. Australia

is a very easy country to fall in love with. In fact, I found a few things

about the "land down under" that I liked much better than America.

Included in that list are the following:

- The winter

weather. In Australia, it is now the dead of winter. I hate winter. Winter

is cold, dark, frosty, and miserable. Not, however, in Australia. During

the time we were in Aussie land, the night temperatures were in the mid

to high 40s and the day time temperature hovered between 68 and 74 degrees

with a gentle breeze. I have spent the better part of the last two Januarys

near Pittsburgh where, due to the cold, clouds, snow, and ice, I decided

that hell is really cold, not hot. People in Australia were swimming in

the ocean and surfing in their "dead of winter."

- The General

Sales Tax. It's not that I like taxes. I just like the way the Aussies

collect the taxes. The tax is included in the price. In the USA, if you

buy an item, the store says, for example, "That will be $107.00."

"Wait a minute, the price tag said $100!" "Yes sir, but

with the tax, it comes to $107.00." That's not too big a shock with

a soft drink, but if you buy a car or a house, the added tax can be a

shocker! In Australia, if an item is marked $100, then that is the price

you pay. No surprises. The tax is included in the listed price.

- No tipping.

In Australia, people are surprised if you tip them and some seem uncomfortable

about taking your money. Almost no one tips in Australia (except Americans).

People just work for their wages and that is understood to be enough.

What a novel concept. That means that a $100 meal costs only $100, not

$122, including taxes and tip. By the way, we still tipped. Christians,

we believe, should be generous, even when it is not expected.

- The attitude

from service workers. In two weeks in Australia, we did not encounter

one grouchy clerk, cabbie, airline ticket agent, tour guide, merchant,

bag handler, or waiter/waitress. These folk fell all over themselves extending

smiles, kindness, and help. Well, there was one exception. In one city,

there was a woman behind the hotel desk who had a kind of snotty attitude.

But she was French, not Australian.

- Rugby and

Australian Rules Football. I thought that the people who played football

for Alabama, UCLA, and the National Football League were tough. They don't

know tough, compared to the Aussie footballers. These men play the roughest

games I have ever seen, including professional hockey, all at a fast pace

with few breaks and wearing NO helmets and very few pads. The only surprise

to me was that no one died during the games that filled the airwaves in

Australia. The Wallabies, the Australian National Football Team (who beat

England while we were there) stayed at our hotel in Brisbane. They were

nice, friendly, and willingly signed autographs-especially for kids. Our

athletes could learn a lot from these guys.

Would I visit

Australia again? You betcha!

We went to

the Great Barrier Reef, a rain forest, held a Koala (which hugged Cindy

and urinated and defecated on me), fed a kangaroo, went to a rare bird

aviary (where an exotic parrot bit me), took two river tours, and generally

had a great time! We were going to see the crocodiles, but after the Koala

and parrot, we thought I better not risk it.

We were told

that tourism is the number one industry in Australia. If everyone is treated

as well as we were, the industry will only continue to grow. If only they

could move the country a bit closer to Atlanta, it would be just perfect!

[The Reverend

Canon David Epps is rector of Christ the King Charismatic Episcopal Church

in Peachtree City. He may be contacted at [email protected] or at

www.ctkcec.org.]