Just for the record, [The Citizen

in this space in July published] the fifth disparaging article toward

gays in five months. William Maier is proficient at finding any subject

and twisting it in an effort to demonize all homosexuals for the failings

of a few.

No one ever claimed that all

homosexuals were saints; but don't try to portray all of them as demons.

When you continue to parade these "so-called" Christian-based

writers with their anti-gay slander, you are directly insulting the integrity

of my son. You also are guilty of spreading the hatred that gays and lesbians

must face on a daily basis.

However, you are in very good

company. When Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson claimed the terrorist attacks

that killed thousands of our fellow citizens were the direct manifestation

of God's anger toward homosexuals, what was the message? It was certainly

not love or compassion. It was, however, that any association with gays

and lesbians could bring God's wrath upon you and your family.

And, yet, these same self-proclaimed

"men of God" become indignant at the suggestion that these kinds

of distortions might have contributed to Matthew Shepard's murder or other

violent acts.

Imagine the effect these messages,

from respected Christian leaders, have on impressionable, violence-prone

youth. Vile distortions, presented as Biblical truth, reduce many of God's

children to nothing more than game for a predator.

I will try to explain how this

subject has affected my family. Until recently, my prayer and God's response

remained constant. For four years I continued to pray that Adam would

be changed but God refused to grant my request. My son told us that he

was gay and that his same prayers got the same response. He had assured

us that this wasn't his choice and we had no reason not to believe him.

Adam has always been an "ideal"

son. He always strived to do the things that made us proud. No parent

should be put in this position. I love my son but nothing from my upbringing

endears me to homosexuality and we still need to maintain the respectability

of our family. How do we continue to convince Adam that we need to keep

this a secret without him feeling as though we are ashamed and embarrassed

We're a good family. Why did

this happen to us? If we could just remove this one obstacle, he would

be on the fast track to happiness and success. Everything about Adam makes

him a winner except this and if he is discovered to be gay, all bets are

off.

Homosexuality seems to be our

unforgivable sin. This country is so sensitive when it comes to discrimination

and yet we have an unwritten pact that it is socially acceptable to openly

discriminate against gays. The military, which is big on honor and integrity,

wants them to pretend, the business community can fire them at will, the

church holds them to a standard that they don't require of anyone else,

and the public's open contempt borders on brutality.

Perhaps the saddest discrimination

occurs within our own families, which are supposed to be the bedrock of

love and support. It must be the mystery and confusion that brings out

the worst in us. We use the Bible as our righteous shield as we defiantly

condemn homosexuality as the sin above all others.

If it were truly sin that we

abhor, we would attack it all evenly. But, in our blistering attack, we

conveniently forget to mention the sins of which we are all guilty. This

unseemly part of our human nature prompted: "He who is without sin,

cast the first stone."

Our rotund reverends proclaim

that we "love the sinner, hate the sin." Is homosexuality the

only sin we can find to hate? It's obvious that gluttony is quite palatable.

Gossip, previously called "bearing false witness," seems to

be the glue that holds many churches together. And I've never heard a

sermon preached on the sin of divorce and remarriage even though Jesus

directly addressed it.

But let's stop kidding ourselves;

we all know why. We, as adults, have created our own schoolyard playground.

The "bullies" in the pulpit pick on the most vulnerable members,

knowing that their victims are helpless to defend themselves. Through

years of intimidation, the bully also knows that the others on the playground

will do nothing to stop the attack in fear that he will turn on them.

This is commonly known as injustice.

Adam's "sin" is that

he shows love to someone of the same sex. Our sin is that we show hate

to gays by treating them as though they were subhuman. We withhold our

love from them and then do our best to make them believe that God is doing

the same. Which is the greater sin?

If Adam is incapable and God

is unwilling to change his sexual orientation, maybe it is me that needs

to change. Perhaps my backbone needed a little strengthening as well.

There is great risk for me to openly declare that I love my son just the

way he is. The same wrath that has been directed at my son and anyone

else that is perceived to be different will now be directed at me.

Is the risk greater than the

reward? WWJD? If God created 10 percent of the world gay, could they be

his tithe? A gift wrapped in mystery? A gift that, when truly beheld,

teaches parents all about authentic and non-judgmental love? A gift that

bestows courage to stand up to the bullies?

What if every parent of a gay

and lesbian child was courageous enough to stand up and demand that their

children be given the respect they deserve? The world might be forced

to change overnight. The military could freely allow them to excel. Business

could openly appreciate their contributions. The reverends would have

to go find another victim to exploit.

But best of all, families could

return to doing what they do best: love and nurture each other.

My prayer and God's response

have changed. I pray that God will change the world's attitude toward

my son. God's response is: "If you want your prayer answered, then

get off your knees and stand up for your son."

[Jeff Ellis is a Fayette

businessman who has a web site on the subject of gays and acceptance.

The web address is www.familyacceptance.com.]