Ebert and Roeper
have nothing to worry about. I will not be nipping at their heels anytime
soon with quotes ready made for movie advertisements. I will never be
a legitimate film critic. I like too many things and can see positive
elements in things that are not very good.
Take last week's
column, for example. I said that Jerry Springer did not deserve to be
declared the worst TV show of all time. I also said that he wasn't even
the worst talk show host of all time. Many people disagree with this point
and have told me that Springer is a trashy, vile show aimed at the lowest
common denominator. That may be true, but I'm sure Jerry knows this. That
is part of the show's appeal. I found the trash-talking and outrageousness
of the guests to be highly entertaining. Jerry Springer is the King of
Trash TV and the worst show, in my opinion, should be the peasants of
Trash TV, like Jenny Jones or Maury Povich.
I like too
many movies too. I have seen some truly terrible films in my time, such
as "The Night They Robbed Big Bertha's" and almost nothing I
see is as bad as that wretched film. Filmed in Conyers, the movie focuses
on three thieves plotting to rob a bordello. The thiefs get a conscience
over their scam when they realize that the bordello financially supports
a local orphanage. Though the film is only 80-odd minutes long, it felt
like I lost several hours of my life watching it. In comparison, "Men
In Black II," which did not receive very good reviews from critics,
is the new "Citizen Kane."
I have hated
some modern movies such as "Tomcats," "Freddy Got Fingered,"
and "Practical Magic," just to name a few. More often than not
though I can find things to enjoy in most movies. For example, "Corky
Romano" was widely panned by critics but I found it to be a fun movie.
Chris Kattan, who is usually not one of my favorite comedians, played
a consistent character and was surrounded by a decent cast. There were
several really funny scenes and if you went along with the improbable
story, they became even funnier.
I also think
that there are more moviegoers out there like me than there are that stick
with the critics opinions. After all, "Men In Black II" had
two huge weekends and if it was up to critics, it wouldn't have made a
dime. People want to be entertained and to some people Britney Spears
in a road movie is entertaining. I like films that are well received and
view all of the Academy Award nominees for Best Picture each year but
I can't watch films like "In the Bedroom" or "Gosford Park"
over and over the way I can with films like "National Lampoon's Vacation,"
"Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me" or "Happy Gilmore."
So, no need
to worry Peter Travers or Lisa Schwarzbaum, you will still be able to
pan films like "Jurassic Park III" and "Me, Myself and
Irene" with smart-alecky remarks and scathing criticisms, while I
and the rest of the nation will continue to go and view films that appeal
to us and will entertain us. They may not be the next "Gone With
The Wind" but as long as they don't make us want to leave the theater
during the film, all is well.
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