Once more, it is time

to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ. Once more I am reminded

of the journey that brought me to the point where I could sincerely take

part in such celebration.

I can never forget, nor would

I want to, all the years of searching. The years of reading about and

trying to explore other religions.

You see, I have always felt

... no, I have always known in my heart that God is bigger. Whatever we

perceive Him to be, He's bigger. Way bigger.

I used to be offended, or maybe

irritated is a better word, by those who refer to God as She, It, The

Universe, A Higher Power. None of that bothers me anymore. I'm comfortable

with "He". Let the rest of the world be comfortable with whatever

fits their search at this time and place in their soul's history.

Once I got past my interest

in other religions ­ as far as pursuing one as my own ­ I started

to grow comfortable with Christianity as I have come to perceive it. I

only desire now to maintain an ongoing and growing relationship with God

and I am very comfortable believing it is Christ who made such a relationship

possible for me.

Indeed, it appears more and

more that my relationship with God and Christ are one and the same. As

I attempt to write about that relationship today, it is with more awe

than I have ever felt before.

I am not sure why that is the

case. And what is truly awesome is there is no part of me that is anxiously

trying to figure out a way to figure it all out. I had hoped I would be

there by the time I was 80 or 90, but was not sure I would be. At 53,

I am shocked to find I no longer am consumed with "Why?" and

"How?".

I am surprised that comfortable

is the word I feel most strongly today as I think about God, Jesus, Easter

and my faith. There was a time when comfortable would the last thing I

would want to feel.

I believe it was Emerson, back

in my high school years, who convinced me it was okay to be honest at

any given moment, and if tomorrow I think or feel differently, then it

will be okay to be honest then, too. No, that's not the way Ralph Waldo

put it, but it is the way I perceived it. (I enjoy knowing that I have

always been honest with you in this column.)

Let me tell you more about

"comfortable." I don't know when I realized that life is all

about the journey, not the destination. Maybe some part of me has always

known that too, but, in recent years, all of me seems to have become consumed

with the journey.

Amidst all the ups and downs,

all the tears and laughter, all the successes and failures, I have found

there is one who "walks with me and talks with me and tells me I

am His own ..." The songwriter knew what I'm talking about.

What do I want most from my

faith? That's easy. I want to know I am not alone as I make this journey

through life here as we know it today. I don't believe I was alone before

I came here. I don't believe I will be alone after I exit this place called

earth.

Only my faith in God through

Jesus Christ has been able to give me that. I don't fully understand why

I no longer have a burning desire to try to convince others of the claims

made by Jesus, but I don't. I do know I have become comfortable knowing

Jesus, perceiving His presence in my heart and life as I do and believing

that anyone who truly searches for truth will find it, in their own way

and in their own time.

Maybe it's all about honesty.

Sincerity. Getting to a point where truth matters more than anything.

More than having all the puzzle parts. More than understanding why, how,

what if ...

I know this may sound like

I think I'm there but I'm not. I'm just comfortable now on my journey

towards there.

A few days ago my three-year-old

granddaughter said to me, "Grandma, I have voices in my head, and

one of them is yours, and I can hear it anytime I want to." I love

the way she says "Grandma." She makes me sound so grand. And

I love the way, even with 50 years stretching between us, that we still

have so much in common.

It was she who announced to

me a few months back that Jesus was God's son and Jesus was God and God

was his own self's son. She and I will enjoy all the thoughts Easter brings

to us this year, I hope you will, too.

On this glorious Easter weekend,

this column is dedicated to Dave, who understands about the journey.

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