From time to

time, I read a Christian magazine entitled well, I don't think I'll mention

the title of the magazine. On the one hand, I'm afraid Ill get sued and,

on the other hand, I'm afraid that people might go out and buy it.

Oh, don't get

me wrong. Often the articles are quite good and informative but, at other

times, they are just silly, inaccurate, and faddish. Generally, I refer

to it as the "National Inquirer of the charismatic movement."

It's the ads,

however, that have caught my attention for several years. If some minister

is advertising his particular conference, it's almost never called a "conference."

It's more likely to be called a "Holy Ghost, Spirit-Filled, Fire

on the Mountain, Slam-Bam, Pentecostal Word Explosion," or some similar

stringing together of adjectives. I''ve been to some of those conferences

in days gone by and, regardless of the wording of the ads, they're just

conferences.

Along the same

line, I noticed a trend a few years ago in the way that ministers advertised

and promoted themselves with titles. When the magazine first started publication,

the ministers referred to themselves as, say, "Tommy Smith"

(not a real name). A few years later, the same man would be billed as

"Pastor Tommy Smith." Once in a while, one would find a "Reverend

Tommy Smith," but most people in that particular group didn't like

the term "reverend," so few people used it.

Then things

began to get interesting. Soon, it seemed that everyone who was promoting

himself or herself was a "doctor," as in "Dr. Tommy Smith."

No, Tommy didn't go off to a real seminary and get a real degree in most

cases. He, in all likelihood, received an "honorary" degree

from a fellow preacher buddy who started a "Bible college" in

the basement of his church and passed out "doctorates" to his

friends like M&Ms. Or, he may have written in to one of the dozens

of "schools" advertised in the back of the magazines, paid his

"tuition," turned in some "work" and received a "degree."

I knew one

man personally who claimed five "doctorates." Try as hard as

I might, I could locate nary a one of the "schools" on the Internet

or in any college guide. I remarked to my wife, back then, that, if "This

trend keeps up, these people will be prophets and apostles soon!"

Well, shut

my mouth, as they used to say in the deep South. I must be a "prophet!"

Within a couple of years, Dr. Tommy Smith was billed as "Prophet

Tommy Smith." Today, sure as shootin', the same man is now "Apostle

Thomas Smith, D.D., Ph.D, STD, LL.D." The only thing I missed was

the assuming of the title of "bishop," as in "Bishop Tommy

Smith," that occurred between his "prophet" and his "apostle"

titles.

Lest one think

that this is a trend restricted to the fringe groups, the Atlanta Journal-Constitution,

in an article dated Jan. 12, spoke to this very issue, which is affecting

and infecting many Atlanta-area ministers. The article, ironically titled,

"Titles from God," reported on incidences in which ministers

decided to give themselves more impressive titles.

One man, a

Baptist, began referring to himself as "bishop" because, as

he said, "The Lord laid it on my heart to be consecrated a bishop."

Another story

was told of two men who started an "international" ministry

and apparently named themselves bishops. At least one of them is an "archbishop"

today. One African-American pastor said, "Once Bishop (T.D.) Jakes

got on TV, everybody wanted to be a bishop."

Dr. Riggins

Earl, who earned a real doctorate from Vanderbilt University and teaches

ethics and theology at Interdenominational Theological Center, said that

the titles have become a way of being competitive. "Even calling

themselves doctors doesn't do enough. We have to find other titles that

have more of a mystical appeal."

There are real

doctors and bishops and such, of course. Don Smith, pastor of First Presbyterian

Church in Peachtree City, has a Doctor of Ministry from Columbia Theological

Seminary. He introduces himself by saying, "Hi, I'm Don Smith."

Douglas S.

Woodall is the Bishop of South Carolina and the Archbishop of the Armed

Forces for his denomination. He also has an earned Doctor of Theology

degree. He introduces himself to strangers by saying, "Hi, I'm Doug

Woodall."

When the fourth-century

Athanasius was summoned by Pope Alexander to be consecrated as a bishop

of the church, Athanasius, not daring to aspire to such a holy office,

sent another man by the same name in his place. Alexander replied that

Athanasius would not escape so easily. Bishop Athanasius of Alexandria

would become one of the most important figures in the history of the church,

but he never sought a title to "become competitive."

Maybe some

of the "prophets, apostles, doctors, and bishops" ought to go