"Oh, come

on, Rick, try it you'll have fun," my friend said. Many great adventures

have started this way, some of which have ended up with a visit to the

local hospital.

The great adventure

that my friend wants me to enjoy is his annual April ski trip to Vail,

Colorado. "It's the last chance to take a run down the snow covered

mountain sides with the family, one last chance to run and frolic in the

snow and be a kid again. Snow is soft and fluffy, if you fall all you

have to do is sit down. You can't get hurt," he said.

You can't get

hurt, all you have to do is sit down I have heard this argument before.

Let me tell

you of another ski trip that started with those same words. I have another

"friend" who took me to the lake so he could teach me how to

water ski. From the boat he yelled the instructions: "Keep your skis

about a foot apart, bend your knees, bend your arms, let the boat pull

you out of the water, and make sure your PFD [personal flotation device]

is tight."

It was hard

to hear him over the sound of the twin engines of his 25-foot-long ski

boat, but I answered back, "Okay, the skis are apart, my arms and

legs are bent, and the boat is now pulling me out of the water. But, what

does skiing have to do with my BVD's being tight?" My friend gave

me all of the tips he had learned about skiing over the years: how to

turn, jump, and even how to do a 360, but I voiced my concern about learning

in one day.

He said, "Not

to worry! You will be the first person that I could not teach how to ski

and pull out of the water." (The pulling out of the water did not

worry me; it was the whole dragging behind the boat on the end of a rope

that concerned me.) But he was very clear on the instructions, telling

me everything I needed to know about skiing, even what to do if I fell

down. (And you will fall down a lot when you are first learning how to

ski.)

"If you

fall you need to remember two things so you will not get hurt," he

said. "If you start to fall, the first thing you do is let go of

the ski rope or your PFD will wind up around you ankles." (This was

something that I understood. Many times I have jumped off the high dive

into the pool and have found my BVD's to be around my ankles.)

He went on

to say, "The second thing you need to remember is to sit down if

you fall. If you sit down you'll not get hurt." However, there were

two other important things he forgot to tell me about falling down.

I was pulled

out of the water and skiing behind a boat for the first time in my life,

having a great time. Then I started to think - big mistake. I'm standing

on water with two boards strapped to my feet. What if the skis touch and

cross? What if they start to go out and spread far apart? What if I don't

bend my knees or arms? What happens if the rope gets slack in it?

It was about

this time that I fell down. There are two things about falling down while

skiing behind a boat going 30 mph that one needs to know: water is very

hard, and you don't reach back with your arms to catch yourself. After

the operation to repair the right rotator cuff, I vowed never to ski again.

Three years later shoulder pain from the fall still wakes me up at night.

I said, "Let

us examine this April snow skiing trip. First you are going to stay up

the night before to put hot wax on the bottom of you skis. This is to

make them slicker so you can go faster down the slopes. The next day you'll

strap the skis to your ankles using bindings so they won't come off. Then

you jump onto a moving ski lift before it runs you over. It takes you

up to the top of a mountain, which you hope is covered in six or eight

inches of fresh snow on top of a bed of ice. At the top of the mountain,

you have to jump off the ski lift and move out of the way or you'll get

run over by all the other skiers.

"Then

you are going to jump off a perfectly good mountain, dodging trees and

other skiers as you speed down the slopes enjoying the serenity of the

mountain. You continue your downward descent until you reach the bottom

just to wait in line to do it all over again."

My friend agreed

and said, "When I go swish-swish down the slopes, looking at all

of the snow and nature, it's as close to Heaven as you can get."

I replied,

"If I go on your ski trip, you will put hot wax on my skis the night

before. The next morning you'll bind them to my ankles and help me onto

the moving ski lift. To the top of the mountain we will go, making sure

we're out of the way of the other skiers disembarking the ski lift. Then

you will jump off the mountain going swish-swish all the way down enjoying

nature as you go.

"I, on

the other hand, will be screaming as I try to dodge trees, other skiers,

or large rocks. I will end up skiing off a cliff, or at the bottom of

your pristine mountain in the middle of a giant snowball with just two

ski poles sticking out and my BVD's down to my ankles. In either case

I can assure you that when I reach the bottom I will be closer to Heaven

than you."

No, thank you.

The ski lodge has a warm fire and lots of windows that face the mountains

for a reason. I will be the one inside, sipping a cup of warm, hot cocoa

while looking at all the other people enjoying nature while falling er,

skiing down the mountain. Now that's my idea of an April ski trip.

Rick Ryckeley

is employed full-time with Fayette County Department of Fire and Emergency

Services. He can be reached at [email protected] .]